You Must Be My Lucky T-Paw
Readers, let’s give a warm welcome to the newest presidential contender for the Republican party, Gov. Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota. Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with Pawlenty, the first thing you need to know is that his nickname is… “T-Paw.”
T-Paw? As in, “Go T-Paw, it’s your birthday, we gonna party like it’s your birthday?” I mean, are Americans really ready for a President T-Paw? Well, given the Republican field right now, T-Paw might just be the best they have to offer. This is no doubt part of Michael Steele’s off the hook hip-hop strategy. Next, they will be calling Minority Leader John Boehner “J-Boner.”
The governor is scheduled to deliver a major speech at the RNC meeting in San Diego later this month, where he will introduce himself as a viable contender for 2012. Here’s what T-Paw’s got going for him: he’s not Palin, he’s not Sanford, and he’s not Ensign. It’s a start. Actually, he could probably run a successful campaign on one slogan: “I’m Tim Pawlenty and I Can Keep It In My Pants.”
The second-term governor will not be running for reelection in 2010, and in August he’ll headline a Republican Governors Association fundraiser in Puerto Rico. At least it’s not Argentina.
Of course, the most important event for T-Paw will be the RNC meeting. “A lot of Republicans don’t know who [Pawlenty] is,” said one adviser, adding that he would use the speech to tell his son-of-a-truck-driver personal story. NOOOOOOOO. Dear God, anything but another “son-of-a-XX” personal narrative. Were you guys aware that John Edwards was the son-of-a-mill worker? Before he became a son-of-a-bitch? OMG! T-Paw is also a hockey-playing governor. NOOOOOOOO. Dear God, anything but another hockey mom!
Best of luck to you, T-Paw. Just don’t Jindalf*ck it.
July 21st, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Thufferin’ thuccotash!
July 21st, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Sex scandal in 3, 2, 1…
July 21st, 2009 at 1:33 pm
“I’m Tim Pawlenty and I Can Keep It In My Pants.”
That’s hilarious…It made me laugh so hard I almost spilt my iced T-Paw…
T-Paw…doesn’t that sound like a character from Petty Coat Junction?
July 21st, 2009 at 1:51 pm
As Daffy Duck would say, T-Pawperrypalinplumber for pwesident.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:25 pm
“Jindalf*ck it.”
LOVE.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:38 pm
I try. Not very hard, but I do try.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:39 pm
So, we’re supposed to trust the voters of MN after Jesse Ventura? Then again, JV thought Bush was the worst President of his lifetime.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:50 pm
you could do a lot worse than ventura. in fact, we have. going on five times in a row.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Check out some of the older pics of TPaw. He had a gawdawful mullet that he only cut about a year ago when he was up for the GOP VP pick under McCain.
Which raises a serious judgment question. This wasn’t a leisure suit in the 70s. This was a mullet in 2008.
WFT? If he doesn’t know better than to have a mullet, do I want HIM taking the 3 AM phone call? The only reason he can keep it in his pants is that power ceases to be an aphrodisiac when you have a mullet. Women can’t stop laughing.
Bottom line is that he’s only had one year mullet-free to hike the trail, so give him time.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:06 pm
T-Paw from Hee Haw.
Ventura is actually pretty sharp, and said he was not a career politican, and so far, he is done……