Wide Stance
There was a Republican presidential debate on last night. These debates are slowly becoming the poor politico’s version of Law & Order. Typically, there are three L&O episodes running at the same time: The Original; SVU – Special Victims Unit; and Criminal Intent. Fred Thompson appears in each one, and has vowed to continue his flourishing acting career despite running for president.
That’s right. Thompson missed the New Hampshire debate hosted by FOX News and Assface Chris Wallace so he could officially announce his candidacy on Jay Leno. Finally! Another Republican to make fun of! The Mormon and the crazy NYC liberal were becoming old fodder.
Fred Thompson is so old…
How old is he?
He’s so old that when he orders a 3-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.
When he was young, he sowed his wild oats. Now his wild oats are shredded wheat.
LOL! And I haven’t even started on his wife yet.
How is Jeri Thompson like a hardware store?
They’re both 10 cents a screw!
What does Jeri Thompson say after sex?
Are you all on my husband’s campaign team?
Needless to say, I couldn’t bear to watch the debate. I tried to tune in for the post-debate coverage for entertainment purposes only, but Carl Cameron and Alan Colmes were on a split screen.
Two words. Ugly off.
September 6th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
http://www.texasmonthly.com/blogs/stateofmine/2007/09/hi-permanently-eileen.php
Holy cow!
September 6th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
congrats on the new gig pink
September 6th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
The Republicans want another Ronald Reagan and they might just have one in Fred Thompson: He is too old to have sex in the WH. He’s too lazy to steal. He’ll take naps all the time to keep out of trouble. His acting is too bland to arouse controversy. And his wife gives good head.
Perfect!
They don’t even have to dig him up….yet.
LD
September 6th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Re: 1. Fine Bottled Water
Congratulations Pink Lady!
September 6th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Sweet!!
Do you think they’ll notice if you blog from work?
September 6th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Holy Cow is right! Congratulations, Eileen!
Of course, what else was poor Evan going to do, what with all the stalking and late night phone calls.
September 6th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Fred Thompson is probably more qualified to be president that any of the others running just because he has played one three times in the movies!
btw, Rock on, Eileen!
September 6th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
re:6
Yeah, what WAS he going to do. If he didn’t stop stalking and calling, his wife was going to kill him!
September 6th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Re: 1. Fine Bottled Water
Brilliant move by all involved – Congrats, girl!!!
Wait, will you be leaving us?!
September 6th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Re: 5. Wide Stance
I wonder what TM’s vacation policies are like?
Congrats PL!
September 6th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Thompson is the ideal president for eveyone who thought Reagan was too wonky.
/Re: 1. Fine Bottled Water
I’m going to say it. Nepotism.
Evan and Eileen are cousins, right?
September 6th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
I’m speechless, but will recover enough to say, “you go, girl!”
Couldn’t happen to a nicer broad. You raise the charisma factor at TM by a mega dose.
September 6th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Great reason to renew the script. High five, girl!