The Man Who Wouldn’t Be King

January 18, 2012 - 3:03 pm 12 Comments

I apologize for the late posting. I was at my daily 4-hour advanced Zumba class.

Apparently some conservatives (including Newt Gingrich) are calling for Perry to get out of the race before Saturday’s primary. As someone who has finally found meaning in life through following Perry’s campaign, I’d like to say FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST KEEP GOING. Where is God’s divine intervention when we need it? Can we start an interactive online rosary? (Yes, typically you pray the rosary for the poor lost souls in purgatory but this is an emergency. They’ll have to just wait another hundred years.) What about the last-minute mailers? What about all the time and effort you’ve put into this week’s debates? What about your promises?

Influential conservative blogger Erick Erickson (I’m changing my name to Eileen Eileenson) wrote today that if Perry were to drop out and endorse someone else he would be considered a “kingmaker.” Kingmaker. As if Perry’s ego isn’t big enough. The man can hardly hold his head up. It’s not like these conservatives want him to endorse Romney. They want him to throw his support to Newt. As if Newt’s ego isn’t big enough. The man has to DRAG HIS HEAD along the floor when he walks.

To endorse Romney would be to turn Perry’s message throughout the campaign into a joke. It would buy Perry no good will. He would return to Texas a joke.

Is there any other way?

12 Responses to “The Man Who Wouldn’t Be King”

  1. LegeBoy Says:

    He was a joke when he left.

  2. Lefty Leftyson Says:

    I think you mean Illin Illinson

    eileen Reply:

    Clearly you’re a barista at Starbucks. Welcome.

    West Texas Hillbilly Reply:

    Illin Illindotter

  3. Rog Says:

    If Perry really wants to help one of the other candidates, he would have to come out against them.

    chilpyll Reply:

    Speaking of Perry coming out…

  4. James Moore Says:

    Perry will return to Texas as a joke regardless of any moves he makes now….

  5. JMM Says:

    Perry isn’t going to quit. He and his kids are making too much money working for the campaign and his super pacs (which still have plenty.) Even if he were a ‘king maker’, newt’s already promised a “major part” to Sarah, and how many idiots do you think the west wing can hold? Mittens might give him the Dept of Energy (that would make the people that do the real work there happy, huh?) But how many lucrative appointments would that put into his hands?

  6. WUSRPH Says:

    Before Perry chooses to become a “Kingmaker” he might want to read (sic) a little English history to find out what happened to the greatest Kingmaker of them all, Warwick.

  7. Sam in Pearland Says:

    I’m starting to like Gingrich more and more. The whole idea of Sarah Palin as a White House adviser (Secretary of Dysfunction) is a dream for comedians and many bloggers. So what if the country goes to shit; according to the leading GOP candidates we’re already heading down the rails on greased skids. They could fire all her staff and hire 200-300 10 year olds to work for her. I can’t see how they would put out any statements that even approached hers in ludicrousness.

  8. Linda Says:

    I’m trying to figure out how a primary candidate who barely registered in either of the two primaries so far would be a kingmaker. Don’t you need support to throw to your endorsee?

  9. treehugger Says:

    Looks like Perry’s taking his 1% of support and bowing out. Thanks Rick, its been hilarious.