The King is Dead. Long Live the King.

January 20, 2012 - 10:38 am 11 Comments

All day yesterday I was thinking some really big thoughts, like grandiose thoughts, like my brain was going to explode if I didn’t put those thoughts into words. Here’s my column in The Atlantic: The Only Culprit in Rick Perry’s Collapse is Rick Perry.

It was all over before it started. When Rick Perry bounded onto the national stage as the consummate politician who had never lost a race, he was already being feted in the media as the all-but-certain Republican nominee. He was being called the next Ronald Reagan — the next best thing to being called Jesus Christ Superstar, if not a little better. But Perry quickly became a caricature of himself.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, I watched last night’s debate and yes, I watched the much-touted Nightline interview with Marianne Gingrich telling the world that her ex-husband wanted an open marriage. (How much more “open” can you get then engaging in an ongoing extramarital affair that your wife knows about? Like Eyes Wide Shut open?) So I head into the weekend with images of a Newt Gingrich threesome. Hopefully now you do too.

11 Responses to “The King is Dead. Long Live the King.”

  1. treehugger Says:

    Newt has way more than three chins.

  2. wyocwby Says:

    Oooookay, there goes my appetite! *ugh* If we have to have images of 3 somes in our heads can’t we use the hottie Romney boys. I’m just sayin.

  3. Rog Says:

    Newt expresses outrage that others would question just a few of the despicable things he’s done, while he (and all other evangelical Republicans) have no problem telling others how to live their lives. Wikipedia should post his large frame under the definition of hypocrite. And I thought it was Perry who said anyone who would cheat on their wife (wives) would cheat on their country and then he endorses Newt. What a sad state of affairs in the GOP.

  4. MF'er Says:

    Words cannot begin to express how delighted I am that Newt may actually prevail in South Carolina tomorrow. As a Floridian, I was becoming distraught at the prospect of missing out on the deluge of 30 second information pieces concerning the candidates appearing on my television and radio non-stop for two weeks.

    Tabbycat Reply:

    I too as a Floridian was afraid we’d miss all the fun!

  5. Sam in Pearland Says:

    Only if the third part of that tormented triangle is the current governor of Texas or a former senator from PA.

  6. West Texas Hillbilly Says:

    I bet if you inventoried the Kindles at the Brenham Global Religious Domination meeting where Santorum was anointed, the most recent purchase on every Kindle was Head Figure Head.

    /Newt’s Kindle only has his own books

  7. WUSRPH Says:

    I do not know why Newt felt he had to ask whether they could have an “open marriage”…If had been that way all along…Both in his first marriage when he “cheated” on his first wife with his second-wife-to-be and in his second marriage when he checked on the second wife with the third-wife-to-be. Since he had done it with her, what made her imagine he would not do it again…Did she think she had “converted” him…Of course, that’s what the now third wife apparently thought while he was cheating on the second wife before he married her. At least you have to give Newt some credit for not just dumping his mistresses when a hotty new one comes along….He is too much of a gentleman for that. Instead, he first marries them before he starts his next affair. Newt really should be running for President of France, not of the United States….I also love it when they describe the second mistress, now the third wife as being “a devote Catholic”….who just happened to have a 6-year-long affair with a married man….Her confessor must have had a really good time listening to her confessions over those years.

    lush Reply:

    Didn’t Newt tell Marianne that her problem was wanting him all to herself whereas Calista didn’t care what/who he did? Or something like that? This indicates that he and Calista might actually have that open marriage he wanted from Marianne all along. Which means we could be hearing from all sorts of women in the next several months if he becomes the nominee. A gal can dream.

    lush Reply:

    Calista, Callista. Whattheeffever.

  8. Sam in Pearland Says:

    Just saw where Chuck Freaking Norris endorsed Gingrich. Just think: Perry – Secy of Education; Palin – Secy of State; Norris – Secy of Defense.

    What could go wrong?