Scarlet Letter
How does he do it? 51% of the vote? Well, I hope all of you who voted in the Democratic primary and chastised me for crossing over are happy now. Because you’ve basically ensured the reelection of Rick Perry as our next governor. Not that I’m trying to blame anyone. I’m just trying to make myself feel better about this:
Anyway, karma is, apparently, quite the bitch. I was leaving work yesterday when I realized I couldn’t find my car keys so I started frantically racing around the office accusing random colleagues—who, let’s be honest, I’ve never completely trusted—of stealing my keys. I finally located them by peering into my locked car and seeing them on the floor. DAMN IT. A coworker drove me home, I got in through the garage right before tripping the alarm, and found the spare Honda key hidden underneath piles of old unpaid bills.
Hoping to get back to the office before it was dark, and having no one around to drive me there, I had no choice but to walk all the way back along the I-35 feeder road. At one point I got caught in the median because I missed the walk light so, if you saw someone wearing an oversized fleece, Old Navy corduroy pants, and a winter hat who looked homeless, that was me. At the very least, you could have thrown a dollar out your window.
I got back to my parking garage and decided to drive to Central Market to pick up a few things before the election results started coming in, only to realize that I didn’t have my purse with me. DAMN IT. So I drove back home, got my purse, drove back to Central Market, when I received multiple text messages informing me that both my Facebook and Twitter accounts had been hacked. DAMN IT. Then I got a call from Andy Brown telling me that Perry had already won the primary and that he was revoking my membership in the Democratic party. Fine. You can keep that $20 I donated three years ago.
When I got home I watched other results rolling in, including the propositions on the Republican ballot that ALL PASSED by 90+% of the vote despite my best efforts. The only one that got less than 90% was the sonogram one, with 68% of the vote. So, you know, there’s that. Go ahead. Laugh it up. Mock my pain. I am officially the man without a country.
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:33 am
The 90% passage rate for most of the props illustrates that D’s crossing over was obviously of minor impact. That only 68% of the Texas Republican vote was in support of the anti-choice agenda is news, if you ask me.
/And of course, no one did.
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:34 am
I too voted in the R primary and was none too happy with the results. Would have enjoyed watching Perry actually have to put time and effort into his campaign. Would have loved reassurance that Republicans aren’t really in favor of strapping pregnant women to chairs and making them watch Look Who’s Talking. I really wish we had more options than R and D. They’re both nuts.
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:37 am
“Look Who’s Talking.” Now that’s funny.
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:40 am
LOL! My boss crossed over too, and maybe I should have as well… Maybe in more of us had, Gov. Goodhair would no longer be a torn in Texas’ side …
Very funny column. Nice writing!!
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:08 pm
I held my nose and voted in the Rebulican primary, little good it did. Don’t know if I’ll ever get the icky off. Keys locked in car…Karma? Hope not!
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I saw you scurrying down the I-35 feeder road and responded accordingly by locking my doors and staring straight ahead. You never know when homeless bloggers might be on the loose.
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:12 pm
A torn in Texas’ side? Interesting phrasing. Freudian, even? I like it.
I crossed over also. Does this mean I have violated one of the ten commandments? I’m I now a election adulterer or am I just Bi, going both ways? Do I have to wear a scarlet R? Oh, the shame.
/shudders
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:28 pm
I thought about crossing over — I nearly did it. But then we showed up to our polling place, and there was one entrance to the “Republican Primary” and another, further down the hall, to the “Democrat Primary.” This pissed me off, so I went to the Democratic Primary.
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:30 pm
will have to find a new “blue” blog to read since this one has gone “red”.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:01 pm
You’re a man?
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:21 pm
If you crossed over in the primary, you need to swallow hard and do it again in the runoff. Unless you want to live in a state where Rick Green sits on the highest court.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Look at the bright side. Maybe you’ll get on the Palin-Perry for President mailing list. If you’re real lucky, you may get a robocall explaining why it would have been impossible for the World Trade Center to come down in six seconds without the U.S. Government first planting the explosives inside. You have much to be thankful for and to look forward to, just for participating in our democracy.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:23 pm
You actually walked from your house to downtown? And you went along I-35? WTF is wrong with you?
WHAT DO YOU THINK THE PINK MAFIA IS FOR?
ON a related note. ..
“I was leaving work yesterday when I realized I couldn’t find my car keys …”
This happened to me when i was trying to leave FOR work yesterday afternoon for hte late shift. Spent nearly an hour in the middle of the afternoon digging around for my key – only to find that I’d hung it on the coat rack.
Then we had to call and cancel the roadside assistance that was going to come and break us into the car so we could get the spare key … conveniently kept IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:25 pm
“…why it would have been impossible for the World Trade Center to come down in six seconds without the U.S. Government first planting the explosives inside.”
Well..? How would that have been possible?
Just asking. I’m not a total truther, but I do see the value in occasionally questioning government and never putting anything past them.
Call me crazy. Wouldn’t be the first time.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Roadside assistance? No Hispanics in your neighborhood? I’ve had the 9 year old hombre next dood bust in my car twice!
And what does that “D” stand for, Eileeeen?
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:36 pm
My husband considered crossing over, but he decided that he couldn’t because he might have a wreck on the way home, and if he did, someone might see that red R…and leave him lying there.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Credentials
One answer would be the heat from the explosion melted the steel infrastructure to the extent there wasn’t much left to come down except the exterior walls.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:40 pm
“How does he do it?”
One word: Diebold.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Credentials:
Gravity
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Dumbass.
/what??
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Democrat
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Rog –
Could be. But the counterpoint arguments that I’ve heard are that the heat from the explosion/plane wasn’t strong enough to do that. And that there wasn’t enough fuel for that explosion to be caused just by the plane. I find that possibility intriguing.
I’M NOT AN EXPERT, so everyone else, don’t effing bait me on this. I don’t claim to know The Truth. I just claim to WANT to know it.
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Jimbo –
too easy.
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:00 pm
I can’t wait to vote against Green. that’s gonna feel super.
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:01 pm
don’t we already?
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:05 pm
you know, i hadn’t thought about conspiracy in re: perry’s vote share. good stuff.
but here’s one for ya, if you’re game. how is it that virtually every election ever has displayed a trend where the early vote breaks down different than the vote on the day of (something about the extreme of the extreme voting early, i dunno), but the numbers on the props look eerily similar from early to final?
ya with me?
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Provide a DL and not the registration card and you avoid the red R.
I got a robo-call from Medina so who knows what kind of data base they use for that. Somehow I don’t think it was my membership to the Nature Conservancy or the National Wildflower Research Center. There was those raffle tickets for the Catholic charity…surely they wouldn’t, not to Medina….
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Why is everyone making such a big deal about the props? It’s basically a poll. A state-paid poll, as a sharp observer here already noted. They have no legal weight whatsoever, and frankly, they are already part of the GOP platform – officially or not.
What am I missing? Clearly, something big – because I cannot find the importance of these and yet everyone is up in arms about them.
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:24 pm
The best explanation I’ve read about the WTC’s collapse focused on the heat of the fire warping the steel frames — which was enough to cause the frames to lose their strength, but not strong enough to melt them. (But just as critical an event!) And what ensued after that was a pancake effect of collapsing floors, which increased in weight and momentum as more floors failed (and caused the external structure to collapse).
//sorry for the digression
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:48 pm
So exactly what is wrong with requiring a photo ID in order to vote? Lord knows its required every time I cash a check or use a credit card. Seems quite reasonable and prudent to me.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Don’t make me do an intervention.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Putting them on the ballot in the first place. R-Crazytown shit. That’s all. I don’t think anyone’s up in arms. It’s just … interesting.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Because Dan,what this is really about is that you want to suppress the votes of the poor and downtrodden– you racist. Don’t you know that nobody who is poor and downtrodden has a photo ID and that the racist white society will prevent them from obtaining an acceptable ID even if they tried? Besides, don’t you know that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that voter ID laws are unconstitutional . . . or maybe they said they were constitutional, I can’t really remember?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24351798
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Dan
Is your photo ID needed when you use your credit card to purchase an item on-line? Is the photo ID necessary for a mail-in ballot?
Voter fraud in terms of people showing up at the ballot box and claiming to be who they are not is practically nonexistent.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:10 pm
if you guys want to jerk each other off, there are places for that.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:11 pm
The fear is that those most likely to not possess a drivers license are precisely those most likely to vote D. Elderly, low-income, minorities and people who are not tied into the system. Right now you can vote if you have your voter registration card or, if not, if you are on the rolls and can show some other ID — water bill, whatever. Since the R’s pushing voter ID could come up with virtually no voter ID fraud, it does look a bit contrived to adversley affect the D’s. And it turns out hardly anyone cares. The R targeted because he supposedly didn’t support voter ID won handily.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:13 pm
‘scuse me?
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:15 pm
well, one thing is this: we all know from political science 101 that the primary voters are the most extreme voters (putting aside us dems who voted R yesterday – obviously not in big enough numbers to noticeably affect the trend).
so, the most extreme R’s generate those 93% numbers, which will be then be quoted as representative of all texas republicans (which is basically code for all texans). this “trend” will then be used to bolster the inevitable re-attempts to legislate this stuff.
at least, so it appears to me. we’ll see.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:21 pm
I also voted in the R primary and was even asked about it. I just queitly said yes I knew what I was doing. It was not easy finding the voting place and then there were long lines @ 6:00 pm. And now no runoff…I did not see anyone voting Democratic in my neighborhood. Sigh…
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:24 pm
All this talk about crossing over has the Carter Family’s “The Far Side Banks of Jordan” rolling through my head.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Eileen, too bad the Democrats didn’t cross-over to save TX Railroad Commissioner Victor G. Carrillo (R) in his unsuccessful bid for a 2nd full 6-year term.
http://www.statesman.com/news/texas-politics/incumbent-loses-railroad-commission-seat-311970.html
My theory is Carrillo had two strikes against him last night: his Hispanic surname and the Bradley effect with white conservative voters, who may have voted for Porter in private despite praising the 7 1/2 yr. incumbent to his face.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:38 pm
yes, i found this result fascinating.
i had no idea who carrillo was, but of course, having crossed over, i did the right thing and voted for the guy who was obviously – and i mean crazy obviously – the more qualified. it took me about 30 seconds online to figure out that the other guy was/is a joke.
i am completely baffled by this outcome. all the standard explanations for this whupping (tea party turnout, anti-incumbent sentiment) would seem to be contradicted by perry’s win (i.e why didn’t medina get all the votes this porter guy got … they are similar candidates).
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:52 pm
If you knew me, you would know that I am not a “racist” in any sense of the word. If you ever take the opportunity to “volunteer” to work at a voting site, you might actually change your mind. Give it a try next time and tell me then whay you think…
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:56 pm
I was tempted to crossover, but then I thought about Kinky. That kept me on the straight and narrow, and it felt good to vote for Bill White, so there’s that.
Eileen, I’ve only recently become a fan, but being one of those Texas born and raised types? I may become a rabid fan. Not to worry, though. I live in the Houston area, and traffic down here would prevent me from ever stalking you.
No, wait. I mean ~ Traffic in Austin would prevent me . . .
March 3rd, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Ouch. I may have left the impression that I voted for Kinky. I’m already having a bad hair day, and to leave that impression would only worsen my condition.
I voted for Mr. Gilbert.
Kinky will finally go away now, right? Right?
March 3rd, 2010 at 4:14 pm
he’s writes (wrote?) good detective-noir fiction, if you go in for that sort of thing.
March 3rd, 2010 at 4:37 pm
How in the world does any adult who’s not a homeless drifter not have a photo ID? Even if you can’t legally drive for some reason, you can still get a state-issued ID card. There’s really no excuse for not having one.
If my 95 year-old great-grandmother can have a current driver’s license, I’d like to know what everyone else’s excuse is.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:08 am
Where’s Webb Pierce when you need him?
Don’t let me cross over love’s cheating line
You belong to another and you’ll never be mine
I know one step closer would be heaven divine
Don’t let me cross over love’s cheating line
March 4th, 2010 at 11:11 am
Ask Royal Masset, an extremely loyal and well known conservative activist and consultant, why this Voter ID bill would make it impossible to vote.
Alan, just because YOU can’t think of any circumstances under which a person can’t have a photo ID – that doesn’t mean there aren’t any.
And besides. You also seem to be suggesting that homeless drifters don’t have voting rights, too.
WRONG. They’re citizens just like the rest of us. And they have a voice.
What people don’t seem to remember is that if a law prevents even ONE PERSON from voting, then it should be thrown out. Period.
Nothing personal, but try stepping out of that Ivory Tower once in a while.
March 4th, 2010 at 11:12 am
Correction – ask Royal Masset why this Voter Id bill would make it impossible for his elderly MOTHER to vote.
March 4th, 2010 at 11:39 am
I love you.
March 4th, 2010 at 11:40 am
good call.
March 4th, 2010 at 11:45 am
If the Kink would drop the uniform and act, he could actually win.
He really did bring some ideas to the party in running for this office. Too bad he can’t break free of the duster and cigar and dress like an adult, when called for.