Even I thought this Politico headline from yesterday was overly harsh. Perry’s not dumb. On the contrary. He likes to hide his intellectual prowess to appeal to the overwhelmingly stupid electorate that resents any sign of elitism or high IQ. Well played, governor. He’s been planning this presidential run for a long, long time, as evidenced by his laughable A&M college transcripts. I mean, who wants the leader of the free world to know those snooty Principles of Economics (D)? More importantly, he also made sure to get a D in Shakespeare, knowing full well that any candidate who aced Hamlet would have a lot of explaining to do.

The time is out of joint; O cursed spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!

The article asks whether “Gov. Goodhair” is really “like Bush only without the brains,” or if this is a false caricature of a man who scored at least 800 on his SATs.

He is not an ideas man. Perry hasn’t spent his political career marking up the latest Cato or Heritage white papers or reading policy-heavy books late into the night. Advisers and colleagues have informed much of his thinking over the years.

That is actually the quality I’m looking for in our next president—someone who’s not an “ideas man.” Like, here’s my “idea” for addressing unemployment, or here’s my “idea” on how to remove President Bashar al-Assad from power and build stability in the Middle East (outside of using The Jews to bring on The Rapture so Christians can be Saved and all the rest can perish).

“He’s not a guy who’s going to go up to the Aspen Institute,” said longtime Texas lobbyist Bill Miller, a Perry fan. “It’s not the way he’s made.”

Yeah, it’s not like he’s some guy going to the pretentious Aspen Institute! I mean, that would be so elitist! Kind of like when he went to speak at…THE ASPEN INSTITUTE last July. You mean, that Aspen Institute?

More:

Miller said Perry learns what is necessary to be effective.

“If he should know about John Locke, he’ll know about John Locke,” Miller said. “If it’s not on his schedule, it’s irrelevant to him.”

I have a feeling he’ll be waiting a long time to schedule a meeting with the so-called Father of Liberalism. Unless Miller’s referring to that dude from Lost.

According to spokesman Mark Miner, his boss is an “avid reader” who is currently reading Baptist Pastor Charles Stanley’s Turning the Tide, a “how-to for Christian conservatives who want to change the country’s direction.” No big surprise that Perry’s a fan. The book talks about how the tide started turning once prayer was banned in public schools and the Ten Commandments were removed from the public square. Miner said that Perry’s bitter political opponents are now sitting at home “watching re-runs of CSI: Miami.” I don’t know what that even means. No respectable self-loathing bitter Democrat would sit at home and watch CSI: Miami when the I Shouldn’t Be Alive marathon is on. (Pass the pirate’s booty! I think this guy’s about to get caught in an avalanche! Again!)

Democratic strategist Paul Begala commented that Perry “was not known as a particularly bright guy…But he was really charming and clearly a political talent.” So the question was, Is Perry smart? And the answer was, He’s really charming! That’s like when someone asks if a person’s attractive and the answer is, She’s so funny!! or, She’s got really hot friends!!

“The political graveyard in Texas is buried full of people who have underestimated Rick Perry,” said Austin lobbyist Cliff Johnson. “We had a U.S. senator who did that and she didn’t even make the run-off. Sooner or later, they’re going to figure out that he’s not just lucky, he’s good.”

OMG, do NOT tell me who Johnson’s talking about. I want to figure out who this nameless “U.S. senator” is all on my own. I knew these smarts would come in handy one day.

Tags: perry for president   Posted General |