Long Day’s Journey Into Night
Rick Perry might be dropping out of the race but he will always be president of my heart. Although I had considered allowing my site to go dark in solidarity with every other traumatized blogger, I have decided to soldier on in the face of adversity.
The press conference will begin momentarily. Stay tuned.
10AM: Waiting. I remember the last Perry press conference I attended. I remember it fondly.
10:06AM: Apparently Perry’s press conference is being held in someone’s basement.
10:07AM: On the bright side, I won’t have to watch tonight’s debate.
BREAKING: Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife says he wanted an “open marriage.” As in “to swing.” There goes my breakfast.
10:10AM: Seriously. That wood paneling definitely suggests a basement.
10:12AM: And, we’re starting.
10:13AM: “I ran for president because I love America.”
10:13AM: Anita looks nauseous. I feel her pain.
10:14AM: “…a son of tenant farmers…” “former Air Force pilot”…
10:15AM: “Our country’s hurtin’” “We need bold conservative leadership to give the American people their country back.”
10:16AM: “Therefore today I am suspending my campaign and endorsing Newt Gingrich. And Newt is not perfect. But I believe in the power of redemption.”
10:18AM: “Like Sam Houston…I know when it’s time to make a strategic retreat.”
10:18AM: “As I head home I do so with the love of my life, my wife.” No word on whether they have an open marriage.
10:19AM: “The future of our country is at stake.”
Griffin has been an excellent campaign prop.
Perry is now thanking his supporters. All two of them.
10:22AM: “I felt led into the arena…I have just begun to fight.”
10:23AM: And…that’s all.
Somewhere God is weeping. You know, when God calls you, you go. You don’t quit in the middle or suspend your campaign just to endorse a swinging adulterer. You have to be all in. You have to have faith that God will vanquish your unworthy opponents. Today Perry didn’t just disappoint his tens of supporters. He disappointed God. And now God will punish all of us by returning him to Texas.
Update: My column in the Observer is up. “The End of Perry’s Short, Winding Road.”
January 19th, 2012 at 10:09 am
I bet the robo-callers and e-mailer programs are all set to go to call out the faithful for a big “welcome home Rick” rally. His handlers can not let him just slink back to Texas…He needs a big “we still love you” outpouring (as false as it may be) to hold back the political sharks who smell blood in the waters.
eileen Reply:
January 19th, 2012 at 10:33 am
I smell a parade!
WUSRPH Reply:
January 19th, 2012 at 11:08 am
Would it be nasty to get some Turkish flags to wave at the parade?
Commie Pinko Reply:
January 19th, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Texas parades always have horses and their residual horse apples.
Perry won’t feel at home until he gets his boots into a good ole horse pie.
January 19th, 2012 at 10:16 am
Oh, wow. How I love me some good ole’ fashioned ITPT live-blogging.
However, I’m competing with you over at http://www.rickperry.com/
January 19th, 2012 at 10:17 am
“Conservatism is more than just one man…and so is my love life.”
January 19th, 2012 at 10:45 am
Makes you wonder what Perry extracted from Gingrich for the endorsement. Ambassador to Turkey?
Lefty Reply:
January 19th, 2012 at 12:16 pm
A warm bucket of spit.
treehugger Reply:
January 20th, 2012 at 9:40 am
I thought it was a warm bucket of piss. Perry would certainly be qualified to play the comic sidekick.
January 19th, 2012 at 10:49 am
What have we learned this morning? Newt is a more traditional Mormon than Mitt. Amazing.
January 19th, 2012 at 10:54 am
Now that Gov. Perry’s campaign for president is finally (mercifully) over, it will be interesting to see who of the old insider/crony/advisor group has to pay the price for the failure. There is no way Perry is going to admit that his lack of preparation and knowledge was the primary cause. Someone is going to have to take the fall—both of how it came out and for getting him into it in the first place. Who will it be? Delisi? Carney? Toomey? His various mouthpieces? Ted Cruz, the Ayn Randian ghost brain who wrote Rick’s book that stirred up controversy at the very beginning? The fundamentalist ministers who told him how powerful they were? The various reporters and pundits who talked about his college grades and rocks with names painted on them and his record in office? The consultants brought in when his homeboys failed so badly? Or maybe even Anita for telling him it was God’s will? Or all of them? I suspect the receptionists and the telephone operators in the governor’s office are going to have a long, long list of “persona non gratis” next year
January 19th, 2012 at 11:40 am
You’d a thunk he could have surrendered with a Robert E. Lee quote, it being Confederate Heroes Day and all.
January 19th, 2012 at 11:40 am
Does this mean a Gingrich presidency (had to force my fingers to put those two words together) would have a PP (Perry-Palin) braintrust at its disposal?
January 19th, 2012 at 1:45 pm
what a doofus
January 19th, 2012 at 2:44 pm
If he had really wanted to hurt Romney, he would have endorsed him. Looks like Perry is aiming for a cabinet post, something like His Royal Turkish Mormon Moron.
January 19th, 2012 at 9:43 pm
He could be the Ambassador to Thailand – spend his time checking out ways to create new jobs in the sex tourism industry.
January 19th, 2012 at 9:44 pm
“The End of Perry’s Short, Winding Road.” Would the subtitle be “Alley Oops”?