It’s Not Just Super Tuesday. It’s Super-Duper Tuesday.
Today is a very important day, and not just because it’s another day for you to start changing your life so you can become the person you were meant to be, not the tragically flawed person you see in the mirror every morning. It’s a critical day for the Republican presidential race. Ten states are holding their primaries and caucuses: Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Vermont and Virginia. This marks the only day that anyone cares what North Dakotans are thinking.
All eyes are on Ohio and its juicy delegates. If Santorum wins Ohio, Romney’s still fine. If Romney wins Ohio, Santorum’s not. (Naturally Gingrich will win Georgia as it is the state that birthed him. He may even be able to pull off an upset in Alaska due to Todd Palin’s support.)
Here’s Nate Silver’s guide to the latest primary projections. I trust you will all be tuning in tonight to watch CNN’s 12 different panels of experts. (As usual I will dress as one of the pundits. Tonight it’s Gloria Borger.) And naturally I will be watching to see if Santorum can win the Catholic vote and who will win the feminist/slut/prostitute vote. Follow me on Twitter (@EileenDSmith) to keep up with my insightful tweets, which usually go something like this: “I made a casserole shaped like Mitt Romney’s head! #CasseroleShapedLikeMittRomney’sHead.”
March 6th, 2012 at 12:22 pm
I know that almost everything on TV tonight (and especially any thing we would want to watch is a rerun) but can’t we have just one night without thinking about, hearing about or losing our lunch over the GOP race?
(By Tv, of course, I mean the regular cable channels for those of us who do not have all the special packages of movie, etc. channels.)
March 6th, 2012 at 2:08 pm
I need to get my eyes checked because here is how I read your list: “Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Vomit and Virginia.”
March 6th, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Food for thought on super-pooper Toosday. The Texas primary was originally scheduled for today, Santorum probably would have defeated Romney, which would have ended Romney’s chances, thus ensuring an Obama victory.
Alan Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 2:40 am
And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids. And by “you meddling kids” I mean meddling federal judges who want to spit on the Constitution by forcing us to acknowledge the existence of Hispanics when redistricting. (Apparently, telling them Mexico was just a big minority-majority district is no longer enough.)
eileen Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 9:55 am
Wait. Minorities can vote?
March 7th, 2012 at 2:55 am
It could have been “Super-Duper Tuesday” if Texas had voted. Now it is May 29th most likely and with the candidates staying in except for Cain, Perry, Trump, Pawlenty, Bachmann, and whoever else including Sarah that didn’t even file the race will come to Texas. They are not getting out unless they are assured something significant in return which Paul wouldn’t accept so that still leaves us with lots of T.V. entertainment left. I’m cancelling my movie channels. I think I’m going to build a billboard beside my house to rent out. Not that I would vote for them any of them but I could use the money.
Sam in Pearland Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 8:15 am
I can see the sign with a large cross: Santorum 2012 – Vote or DIE.