I Think I Don’t Remember
This morning I woke up with a swollen eye, like a Rocky-swollen eye. You should see the other guy. I am currently using my one good eye to blog about last night’s debate by covering my other eye with a wooden spoon. I suspect that my unexplained optical inflammation is a subconscious symbol of solidarity with Perry, a man who took more than his fair share of hits in the debate. And all because of his so-called “brain freeze” when he couldn’t name the government agencies that he wants to get rid of—a key tenet of his anti-government campaign. People, this wasn’t a brain freeze. This was Perry at his most playful. He was playing a game of “freeze tag” with himself and was unable to speak or move until Ron Paul untagged him or until moderator John Harwood said the magic word, “Seriously?”
Perry: It’s three agencies of government when I get there that are gone: Commerce, Education and the, uh, what’s the third one there, let’s see…
Ron Paul: Five, you have five.
Perry: Oh, five, okay, so Commerce, Education and the … uh … uh.
Mitt Romney: EPA?
Perry: EPA, there you go.
Harwood: Seriously, is EPA the one you were talking about?
Perry: No sir, no sir. We were talking about agencies of government. EPA needs to be rebuilt. No doubt about that.
Harwood: But you can’t name the third one?
Perry: The third agency of government I would do away with, the Education, the uh, Commerce. Let’s see. I can’t. The third one I can’t. Sorry. Oops.
WELL HE’S ONLY HUMAN. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been similarly blindsided. Like when someone asks, what do you do all day? And I stare at them blankly. Or, what day is it? And I smile uncomfortably, tap my forehead and say, I know this one. Then I call them back tomorrow and I’m like IT WAS MONDAY. So I get it. Unfortunately not many people ask me to name the members of the Supreme Court or the number of syrup flavors at Starbucks, including holiday beverages (216). Because apparently that’s not normal conversation.
November 10th, 2011 at 11:58 am
Have his spinmeisters told us what the 3rd one was supposed to be?
Credentials Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 1:35 pm
He said it later in the debate. Dept of Energy.
November 10th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Perry hasn’t even raped the agency yet and he has already forgotten their name.
/Hi whatsyername, call me! Wink.
November 10th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
I hear he can’t waltz either.
November 10th, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Never thought I’d say this, but I seriously hope Perry stays in the race. I’m beginning to see why God told him to run. Things are a little tough right now and we needed some entertainment.
November 10th, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Potatoe…… You all keep kicking Perry like he is Dan Quale’s brother.
treehugger Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 12:59 pm
More like Jimmy Carter’s brother.
November 10th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I hear that his staff tried writing the answers to any questions he could not answer on his shirt cuff…but there was not enough room for all the answers he needed …plus he kept using his cuff to rub his nose….I understand they are now trying one of those wrist pads some of the college football quarterbacks use but his will have multiple pages so he can just flip thru the pages until he finds the right answer……
November 10th, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Perry needs to attack. “The best offense is a good ….,oops. Nonetheless, borrow a line from the Divine Sarah and blame the media for playin’ GOTCHA politics.
November 10th, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Y’all misunderstand. Perry wanted to eliminate that useless Department of Sorry Oops. That was the third agency.
Aggie for Kay Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Agreed. Typical liberal bias painting him to be a moron when really he was looking to eliminate the major taxpayer boondoggle known as the DoOOPS.
November 10th, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Is there a Dept of Memory? Cause he’s already eliminated it, apparently.
eileen Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Wait. Who’s Eileen?
November 10th, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Several years ago I talked to Loyd Criss who uswas a state rep when Perry came in the House. He assurred me that the stupid Perry is not an act; it’s the real deal. He said that Perry’s secret to success is that he was willing to sell his soul and vote to the highest bidder.
November 10th, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Rick will be able to “win” a debate when he is the only candidate on the stage and he gets to pick all the questions to be asked…Even then it will be a close thing!
November 10th, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Which is more hilarious, Perry’s inability to name three federal agencies (why didn’t he just stick with EPA of he hates them so much?), or Mile Tyson as Herman Cain?
November 11th, 2011 at 8:36 am
Perry is the end result of a rigorous Texas A & M education.
None of those “Gentlemen’s C” which Bush received from Yale.
At A&M, you have to earn those F’s.