I May Be Drunk But You’re Romney and I’ll Be Perry in the Morning
You know your faltering campaign is faltering even more when there’s a headline like this: Perry wasn’t drunk at speech, says host
That’s almost as bad as “I wasn’t drunk at your stupid party, says me.” I always suspected that Perry would be a flop on the campaign trail but this is ridiculous. The speech the story is referring to, of course, is Perry’s now infamous manic speech in New Hampshire in which the oxygen supply to his brain had been cut off by his perennially tight shirt collar.
According to Kevin Smith, executive director of Cornerstone Action, “[Perry] wasn’t drinking at the event and he hadn’t been drinking prior to the event. I was sitting with him, and I found him to be very engaging with all of the people he was talking with, he was very articulate.” Smith asserted that Perry drank “only water” at the event. Sure. He drank “water.” As you all know, vodka has no smell. (Personally I haven’t been able to drink hard liquor since my sister’s wedding, which I apparently “ruined.”)
“He was definitely more animated than we’ve seen him during the campaign but the reports that he was buzzed or whatever never crossed any of our minds,” Smith said. Oh please. More animated equals buzzed. That’s why people drink, isn’t it? Because we may be just as incorrigible drunk as we are sober but at least we think we’re lovable for a few hours.
The viral video has clearly been edited to make Rick Perry look like your drunk uncle giving a rambling uncomfortable toast at the family reunion and embarrassing your long-suffering aunt. I’m sure the speech in its entirety is much more comprehensible.
November 2nd, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Quite the Churchillian headline, Lady Eileen of Pinkdom.
November 2nd, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Whatever he took caused him to hug a bottle of maple syrup with more intimacy than I’ve seen him show Anita.
/and I want whatever he was taking. AIR KISSES TO EVERYBODY ON THE INTERNETS!!!
xoxo
eileen Reply:
November 2nd, 2011 at 2:08 pm
ONYD.
West Texas Hillbilly Reply:
November 2nd, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Oh yes I did. I used a smiley emoticon on your blog. MORE ECSTASY FOR EVERYBODY!
November 2nd, 2011 at 5:06 pm
The stress of supressing his homosexuality is getting to Perry.
Commie Pinko Reply:
November 3rd, 2011 at 11:00 am
I must remember that Rick Perry is an Aggie. The mannerisms of Aggies and Homosexuals are close but identical. I keep forgetting that.
Commie Pinko Reply:
November 3rd, 2011 at 11:02 am
Correction “but not indentical.”
West Texas Hillbilly Reply:
November 3rd, 2011 at 11:50 am
Why must you insult gay people?
November 2nd, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Does this mean Rick Perry is now Uncle Drinkie?
eileen Reply:
November 2nd, 2011 at 10:41 pm
If that’s the case then he’s my spouse. God help me.
November 3rd, 2011 at 9:39 am
This could be our next president:
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/10/rick_perry_syrup_gif.html
November 3rd, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Have you seen how Tex Rick turns this mapple sirup bottle into a gun as a little boy does.
And then in a blink of a eye a gunslinger turn into a mudslinger, like that…