Game Over
Apparently the coauthors of the best-selling Game Change, John Heilemann and Mark Halperin, have received a pretty sweet book deal from Penguin Press to write a sequel. How do you write a sequel to the 2008 election? Like, Hey! Guess what happened after Obama got elected (spoiler, for those of you who haven’t finished the book)? He became president! Cliffhanger! Well, I suppose for $5.3 million, you’ll figure something out. Seriously? Five million dollars to write another work of fiction filled with anonymous sources spewing gossip that can’t be verified? James Frey could do a better job.
The sequel will cover the 2012 presidential campaigns, and by “cover,” I mean “make sh*it up.” I know I sound bitter. But at one point in my formative years I thought I would have published a book by now and here I am with a five-year-old blog and you guys know I love you but I would sell you out in a heartbeat in order to get a book deal.
That said, why would any publisher take a gamble like this? The reason a book like Game Change did so well is because it was about an election the likes of which we’d never seen before and will never see again. I mean, would Obama v. Romney really be that compelling? This may be an excellent time for me to break into the market because I would blow them out of the water by writing a Choose Your Own Campaign book.
You remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books, right? You’d get through the first couple of pages and then you’d have to make a choice. For example, you come to a fork in the road, do you go left (turn to p. 46) or go right (turn to p. 52)? I would always mess up and choose the path where I’d go to the page and it would say something like YOU JUST DIED OF A POISONOUS SNAKE BITE. So in my book you’d become the candidate making your way through the trials and tribulations of the campaign. Much more fun than Game Change Part Deux.
March 26th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
But how can you work a piosonous snakebite into a presidential campaign…unless you’re Johhny “Wad” Edwards?
March 26th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
“YOU JUST DIED OF A POISONOUS SNAKE BITE.”
Funny, I don’t remember any references to Guinness and hard cider in my Choose Your Own Adventure series… You’re right though: they certainly are poisonous, and, if you don’t die, you’ll wish you had the next morning.
March 26th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Snakebite is clearly lager and cider as anyone who was at University in the UK in the late 80′s/early 90′s can testify. It becomes snakebite and black if you add blackcurrent cordial. This mixture is an expecially potent stain creator upon reappearance. Black Velvet is guiness and cider I believe.
March 26th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
can i just say that vehemently oppose the new snickers kingsize?
if i wanted two candy bars, i’d buy two candy bars, dammit! or an almond joy.
March 26th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
We love you too, but if we had lives we wouldn’t be hanging out here.
March 26th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
ps – just saw a clip on palin stumping for mccain. in leather.
she wore that in 2008 i would have voted for her.
March 27th, 2010 at 11:21 pm
RE: Snickers……
Very reflective thoughts. interesting.
I’m a 3 Musketeers guy, and he bigger the better.
Funny how life works out. like a box of choc……. wait a minute…..
March 28th, 2010 at 7:59 pm
too relfective, apparently.
see, i like king size snickers. always good for a tummy ache. everytime. and i kept (kept) going back for more.
but now they’ve broken it into two pieces. like a butterfinger, but on purpose.
i’m sure they think they’re helping me avoid the tummy ache. but if i wanted no tummyache, i’d buy the regular size. and it throws the chocolate/caramel/nougat ratio all off.
i have the similar (but reverse) problem with double quarter pounders with cheese. the double somehow gets the grease & cheese ratio wrong (not enough of either). gotta get two singles.
March 28th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
oh, and i think i figured this one, out, too.
like catwoman with a flag pin.
mrrowr.
March 28th, 2010 at 9:05 pm
Would that the venomous bite be truth serum.
March 29th, 2010 at 9:55 am
Truth serum for politicians, that is, not for our illustrious blogger.
March 29th, 2010 at 10:54 am
I had all those Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books.
My favorite was the one about vampires and other scary monsters. I always cheated, though, because I’d keep my finger on the page when I chose my new path, and if it killed me instantly, I’d back and choose the other option.
Ah, if only life were so simple.