While campaigning outside Detroit on Wednesday, Obama called one of those gals with a reporter’s notebook “sweetie.” The filly was asking for it, showing off those gams in that little skirt. Oh, come on, doll face. What’s a nice girl like you doing in an auto manufacturing plant like this? Hey, hey, HEY! Check out those talking points! Get me a piece of that Michigan action.

In Obama’s defense, he has been know to say flirtatious things in response to questions from all kinds of journalists.

Chris Matthews: “Senator, let’s talk about the economy. You’re against the gas tax holiday. So how do you plan to offer relief to the millions of Americans who now have to skateboard to work?”
Obama: “Well, let’s talk about that, Chris. We all know that holiday is nothing but pander — but I’ve got to say, baby, you remind me of a parking ticket because you’ve got FINE written all over your face.”

Campbell Brown:“People are talking about the possibility of an Obama-Edwards ticket. Are you considering him as a viable VP candidate?”
Obama: “I don’t want to add to the speculation, Campbell, but, girrrrrlllll, I hope you’ve got a license to drive me this crazy!”

George Stephanopoulos: “How do you plan on funding your healthcare plan, which would mandate that all children are covered?”
Obama: “First, can I ask you, George, if you’ve read the latest report from the Surgeon General? ‘Cuz it says you need to up your daily intake of Vitamin Me.”

Veteran White House correspondent Helen Thomas: “Senator, how do you plan to reach out to the working-class voters who have eluded you?”
Obama: “Well, Helen, we’ve been trying to do that for some time. But DAMN woman, if you were president, your name would be Babe-raham Lincoln!”

Personally, like most women, I’ve been subjected to many nicknames over the years, some rather objectifying.

• Button: In high school, one of my friends was trying to convince a guy I had a crush on to go out with me. My friend said, “She’s cute as a button!” And my crush said, “Yeah, but maybe she’s too cute, if you know what I mean.” No, he didn’t mean that I was out of his league; he meant that I looked like I was 11 years old.
• Space Queen: In college, apparently I wasn’t the smartest kid on campus, mostly because I had discovered Jim Beam. And fraternities. And day drinking.
• Bloggie, Drinkie, Knees: And these are just the names I’m called at work.
• Bunny Teeth: This particular term of endearment came from when I recently asked Mr. PL if I had something in my teeth. And he responded, “Your bunny teeth?” which caused me to immediately cover my mouth in horror. Since when do I have bunny teeth? Are my two front teeth really that much longer than the rest? WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME?! Don’t look at me, I’m hideous!

So before you start calling people sweetie, or honey, or cutie pie, or wino, or any other pet names meant to flatter, just remember. Sometimes, words do matter.

Yes, Edwards endorsed Obama. Score, like, a gazillion for Obama. Will it matter? Probably more than Bill Richardson’s endorsement. Which is to say, not really. Why didn’t Edwards come forward earlier and hit the campaign trail with him? Would that have helped Obama with the elusive sons-of-mill-workers vote?

And, come on. Obama-Edwards? Why would he do that? And by “he,” I mean “either of them.” With people suggesting that Obama’s an elitist, I’m guessing he doesn’t want Edwards’s million-dollar haircuts in the news again. Edwards, meanwhile, has already been a VP candidate. And let’s just say…he didn’t exactly help.

Luckily, Michael Dukakis was on Larry King to put it all in perspective. What a great idea! Let’s bring out Mr. “I Tanked the Democratic Party” for some insightful commentary on the future of the Democratic party!

My night was further ruined by the hijacking of the major networks by area meteorologists warning of a tornado. The new Law & Order was on (featuring former Texas blogger Eddie Rodriguez as a bored juror) and I was forced to watch goddam storm tracking maps. I wasn’t too concerned. I don’t live in Cedar Park. Anyway, I don’t have a basement. And I’m not going to lock myself up in my secret Panic Room given what happened last time.

Little did I know, however, that my neighborhood would be hit as well. I woke up shortly after midnight thinking I was in the middle of a war zone. (Hey — it’s the east side — not too far from the truth.) But, taking off my lavender-scented sleep mask, I realized that it was just that tornado they were warning us about.

TORNADO!!!!!

I jumped out of bed and, completely ignoring the advice to stay away from windows, opened the blinds to look out my window. Hail the size of delicious popcorn balls was slamming against my house. Lightning. Thunder. A neighbor’s small child being sucked up into the sky. Good God! MY WINE.

Fearing for my life, I crawled, army-style, down the hall, mattress overhead. The bottles of pinot and cabernet were shaking. I grabbed them, stuck them under the mattress, and crawled underneath. I had made one fatal mistake. I had forgotten the bottle opener. I raced to the kitchen, while plates fell out of cabinets, crashing around me. Trusty Rabbit in hand, I made it back to shelter and waited out the storm.

This morning, I woke up surrounded by empty bottles and one wicked hangover. But at least I’m not in Munchkinland.

But at least I’m not as pitiful as George Washington University student, Holly Kearl, who did her master’s thesis in women’s studies on “street harassment.” Seriously Holly. If you want to meet someone, have you thought of speed dating? (Be sure not to mention that you have a master’s in women’s studies.)

Kearl conducted an e-mail survey of 225 women, and found that 98 percent had experienced some form of “street harassment” a few times, and 30 percent said they were harassed on a regular basis. No, we’re not talking about mugging or being flashed. We’re talking about…catcalls.

“For me, anyone who interrupts my personal space to objectify me or make me feel uncomfortable or threatened is harassing me,” Kearl says. She obviously does not have a blog.

So some women are offended by catcalls; others, not so much. Take 31-year-old Jessica.

“Yeah, it’s objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn’t have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I’d think, ‘Boy, I must really be getting old and dumpy.’ ” OH MY GOD I’M GETTING OLD AND DUMPY.

Some women who consider catcalling a form of sexual objectification as opposed to sexual gratification have started a website called HollaBackNYC, encouraging New Yorkers to take photos of street harassers and then post them.

From now on, ITPT will be accepting such photos as well. (Note: I already have enough of TJ Shroat.)

Last I checked, it was Hillary 67, Obama 25. As I watched her victory speech, I couldn’t help thinking — who’s the frat boy behind her, sunglasses atop his head, inexplicably holding…a bowling pin. Boxing gloves as a prop? I can somewhat understand, stale as it may be. She’s a fighter from the mean streets of Philly. Dude, she’s ROCKY. But, the bowling pin? Wait until she BOWLS you over? No time for GUTTER politics? The heir and the SPARE?

“I am more determined than ever to carry on this campaign,” she told the coal miners and members of the Wheeling professional bowling league. “I am in this race because I believe I am the strongest candidate. I can lead this party to victory in the general election if you lead me to victory now.”

Howard Wolfson, her (still!) communications director, said that she’s in it until the end. “We think we’re going to be the nominee. We’re going to make our case to the superdelegates,” he said.

I just…I just don’t know what to say. They keep pulling me back in, like some siren-song promise of Sonoma wine and aged cheeses. This morning’s headline from CNN? “Clinton crushes Obama across the board — After enduring a week of political obituaries, Sen. Hillary Clinton’s campaign proved Tuesday that it still has some life.”

Plus, the New York Times today is suggesting that Obama’s “almost nominee” status is keeping him in a permanent state of limbo. Well, as a one-time Catholic schoolgirl (now just a pitiful aging blogger), I can tell you that Obama is definitely NOT in limbo. Limbo is for unbaptized (read: sinful) babies. I don’t think there’s a way out, but I hear the babies are well-fed and semi-happy (as happy as you can be when you’re not saved through no fault of your own).

I believe the NYT meant to say that he’s in purgatory. That’s the holding room between heaven and hell — for him, between being the almost nominee and being the actual nominee.

Apparently if you say enough Hail Mary’s, you can help Obama get out of purgatory. And then there’s Hillary’s Hail Mary pass, which could keep us all there.

Speaking of pathetic, ongoing charades, will you be watching West Virginia in a couple hours? OMG! LOL! Make me a British bachelor- two-bit actress sandwich!

I was dying to find a clip of the actual rose ceremony, but I only came across a series of photo montages set to excruciating love ballads by Elvis Costello. Yours for the viewing.

You would think that turning another year older would make me wiser but, instead, it has made me more desperate, clinging to my youthful hopes and dreams and guns and religion. Every single person in the whole, wide world has written Clinton off. But I have to see this through. If she’s still in, I’m still in.

Why would I put myself through this, you ask, assuming you’re still reading? She doesn’t have a prayer. The pundits have finally moved on. Obama is the nominee. There aren’t any superdelegates left. She’s calling on herself to drop out. No one in their right mind would still be thinking she could pull this off.

As you all know, I am not in my right mind.

Just humor me — I don’t think she could really pull this off, even though she’s going to eat his lunch in West Virginia. The latest poll has Hillary at 60, and Obama at 24. It could even turn out to be 70-30. Does that even matter? Well, OK, not really. But a 40-point spread? That’s more than Obama won in North Carolina.

Obama knows he’s losing WV, which is why he’s only made one stop there (do you blame him?) and has announced he won’t be making any speeches tonight. Snore. I agree — why bother responding to a loss when he’s essentially already won?

Next week, it’s Kentucky and Oregon. Obama will take Oregon, but Hillary’s leading in Kentucky, 58 to 31. Of course, that will be overshadowed by Obama taking another state and its delegates, but it’s still a loss in another one of those “white” working-class states.

I’m not completely delusional. I realize that it would take a miracle for Clinton to get the nomination. And I’ll gladly vote for Obama (Obama/Clinton?) in November. But there’s a part of me that can’t stop watching. Turns out I’m not the only one. The majority (64%) of Democrats say Clinton should stay in the race. (The majority also want Obama to get the nomination but the point being, no matter how much we all groan about wanting this to end, we’re in the minority.)

Even John Edwards (remember him?) told CBS (remember them?) that Clinton is now a stronger candidate than she was.

“I have to tell you, I’m different than a lot of people. I actually admire some of the strength and fortitude that she’s shown. I know how hard it is to get up and go out there every day, speak to the media, speak to crowds, when people are urging you to get out of the race. I mean, it’s a very hard place to be in. But she’s shown a lot of strength about that.”

And she’s been good for Obama. He’s going to be tougher and (yes) more electable in the general. This will probably be over in June. Until then, I’ll be the only one, aside from Paul Stekler, watching.

Like every birthday, I decide to prioritize my friends based on 1) who contacts me first; 2) birthday cards; 3) birthday presents; 4) who tells me I don’t look a day over 33. I picked up my blackberry — first birthday email came from… Wine.com. Really. With a special code to get 10 percent off my next daily purchase. Ten percent?! Quite a lame gift, considering that I keep them in business.

I have not heard from my family yet, so, family, in case you’re reading, please call me. I’d like to thank all of my virtual friends on Facebook who have stepped in to fill the void.

This marks the 4th birthday I have celebrated on this blog: 33, 34, 35, 36. This is going to have to be the last year, because I refuse to turn 37. (This photo was taken Saturday night. As usual, I have blurred out the world around me.)

Ed. Note — Thanks for my birthday wishes in the comments in my previous post. I won’t make you wish me a happy birthday again in my official birthday post. Unless you want to.  

Of course, I tuned in to This Week with a sense of dread because I knew full well what the pundits would be discussing — (it pains me to type this) Hillary’s exit plan. George referred to it as the “Eleanor Roosevelt” strategy: to stay out there and “fight for the women who’ve supported you all throughout this process.”

In an interview with Lesley Stahl (basically a regurgitation of her comments on the roundtable), here’s what Cokie had to say:

COKIE: I think that she is taking a somewhat graceful and prolonged exit. You know, when you’ve been running this hard and have won this much, you don’t just go. And the truth is, when you’re this significant a candidate you negotiate a withdrawal. It’s almost like a plea bargain. You start talking about paying off debt and about convention roles. There are all kinds of things that have to be negotiated. But I also do think that she feels strongly that she is the better candidate — and you can make a good case of that given the way the votes played out in these primaries and caucuses — and that by staying in until it’s over, perhaps something will happen.

LESLEY: Assuming, though, that [Obama] does win this nomination, do you think she will be anything less than enthusiastically behind him and corralling her supporters into his camp? Or, is there any chance there’ll be a moment like the one at the ‘80 convention.

COKIE: No, I don’t think there’s going to be that kind of moment. I think that Hillary Clinton is too interested in her own political future to be seen as someone who is tearing the party apart at that moment.

LESLEY: Will she go all out, do you think?

COKIE: I think she’d campaign for him. But, you can’t move your supporters. The endorsements hardly matter at all, particularly at the presidential level. Or she can say, “I want everybody to vote for him. I think he’s terrific. I think he should be president.” And those working-class Democrats who voted for her can say, “Have yourself a ball, Hillary. I’m voting for John McCain.”

LESLEY: And do you think that’s going to happen?

COKIE: I do think that’s going to happen in a lot of cases.

Uh-oh. At this point, it’s hard for me to imagine that John McCain could actually win. But, then I remember the past eight years.

Never underestimate the Democrats’ ability to lose.

Once and for all, let those among us who have never gotten shit faced in a DC-area bar, driven drunk, been arrested for it, had our mistress (not our wife with whom we have three children) bail us out of jail, and then been forced to admit that we have a 3-year-old child with said mistress, cast the first stone.

Incoming!