Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst has fired the first shot in the school finance civil war, declaring that the Senate would prefer a different business tax structure than the one put forward by Perry and his band of male-hugging merry men.

“In a perfect world, I think I’d rather see a tax that’s based upon income. Earn money, pay something. You don’t earn money, don’t pay anything,” Dewhurst said. “However, if we lived in a perfect world, Rick Perry would not be governor.” Dewhurst added that the Senate would definitely take a look at the House tax plan before shredding it.

Some business groups are opposed to Perry’s tax plan because they don’t think they should pay the tax if they haven’t turned a profit which begs the question, why are they in business if they don’t make any money? Are they bloggers?

Perry has been promoting his plan which would replace the $5.9 billion in school property taxes with the business tax, cigarette tax and $1 billion in unspent state funds. However critics have expressed concern that there’s no ‘new money’ for public schools. The critics obviously aren’t from the South where ‘old money’ is always much more tasteful.

“This is like building a home. You must build the foundation first. And the foundation for those issues of more money for schools, the foundation for the idea we can put more money into teacher pay, which I’m for, is this foundation of a new tax system,” says Perry. Acknowledging that seniors and disabled Texans won’t get the proposed property tax benefits, Perry said that “maybe if they had a better lobby, they would.”

I was holding out for a tirade from Lawrence Collins regarding the tax cuts and Texas Tax Reform Commission but apparently he’s too busy organizing a hostile takeover of the Democratic Party. Late yesterday the Legislative Budget Board released an analysis of the proposal put forth by John Sharp and his fellow commission members, saying that it would result in less taxes for all income groups. Except bloggers, who don’t fall into any income bracket and will therefore be taxed up the ass.

The commission’s plan would reduce school property taxes by one-third and replace the money with an expanded business tax and some of the state’s surplus. (Just remember – “some” of “none” equals “none.” Why, yes, I was a budget analyst for Junell.) They are also recommending a $1-per-pack increase in the cigarette tax, although they know this could result in Lurkette and Don’t Mess With Pink moving out of state.

“Our committee spent a heck of a lot of time trying to make sure that the tax was not regressive, and so far we’re pleased with what we see,” said Sharp. The cigarette tax has been viewed as ‘regressive’ because it targets low-income children trying to become adult addicts.

Governor Perry released a statement today praising the proposal, saying, “This is our great chance, a once in a generation opportunity to lay aside politics in pursuit of shared prosperity. I ask legislators of both parties to join me in that pursuit.”

And a big old group man hug.

You can say a lot about the Texas Legislature, but you can’t say that they don’t take care of Texas’ most vulnerable citizens. No, not oilmen. I’m talking about children who hopefully will one day grow up to be oilmen.

The Children’s Health Insurance Program was created by tax and spend liberals in Washington. It’s meant to provide health insurance for those people that God likes enough to allow them to make too much money for Medicaid but doesn’t like them enough to allow them to afford private insurance.

Some budget cuts in 2003 removed about 1/3 of the children from the rolls for their own good. But last year the Legislature restored eyeglasses and dental care because blind toothless children do not make for good photo ops.

Yet for some reason enrollment is shrinking. My guess is that it’s because poor people don’t love their children, but there may be some other reasons. Like the fact that the state has hired some f*cking idiots to run the program.

- A Georgia vendor screwed up the dental coverage ID cards by mixing up the birthdays with the enrollment date of April 1. April Fool’s! Next time we should go with a Belarus company.

- About 6,000 future Democrats were dropped when their lazy parents didn’t pay the new enrollment fees. They possibly would have if the vendor who mailed them letters reminding them to reapply had actually mentioned the fees.

- Earlier letters sent by the same vendor misstated the co-payments families would have to pay.

- Nonprofit groups that work with CHIP families “were deluged with complaints in January and February that coverage was cut off even though families had met deadlines for mailing renewal applications.” These groups mistakenly believe that children should be helped even after they’re born.

Anne Dunkelberg of the Center for Public Policy Priorities says that candid officials would say: “We wanted to do something bad, just not that bad.” She says eligible families are being denied coverage because of cumbersome procedures, the state’s loss of veteran eligibility workers and not requiring well-trained call center employees.

But Mary Katherine Stout of the Texas Public Policy Foundation said the CHIP rolls are decreasing because of an improved economy and the resettlement of hurrican refugees. “It’s disingenuous to say it’s all related to the call centers or the enrollment fee,” she said. “Besides, children need to build up their immune systems.”

So while it’s clear that the poor themselves are to blame, I’d also like to point out that no one is suffering. Except sick children.

Governor Perry has called a special session on school finance, mostly because he can’t wait for the Pink kick-off happy hour. This marks the fifth time that the Lege has tried to fix the public school system, mostly by trying to push through vouchers that remove all children from the public school system. They’ve got until June 1st. Everyone who thinks they can do it, raise your hands. Didn’t think so.

Perry created a school finance tax force led by John Sharp, who has since joined every other Democrat in donating to Strayhorn’s campaign. The tax force is expected to make recommendations which no one will pay attention to. Now that’s money well spent.

By JCBT

School finance is messed up. Rick Perry might not know it, but Kent Grusendorf does (now). And so do the trustees of the Dallas Independent School District.

The Dallas ISD is about to lose $43 million in revenue to poorer districts under the ‘Robin Hood’ plan. It’s almost happened a few times in the past, but the state has always stepped in to change the rules at the last minute. School officials don’t expect the state to help them this time. They must read the papers.

They were really counting on that money too. It was to go towards condoms, metal detectors and left-handed scissors. Oh, and ‘promised’ raises for teachers. Teachers are so gullible. DISD was never meant to be considered one of the richer school districts, but an increasing property tax base coupled with stagnating enrollments has put them in that category.

“That concept is going to be foreign for a lot of people – that a district that’s 80 percent low-income [students] is now considered to be a property-rich district,” sasid Superintendent Michael Hinojosa.

Maybe. After all, this is a state that considers Rick Perry governor.

By JCBT

President Bush’s budget is an abomination. He’s pretty much cutting everything that benefits special interest groups like the tired, the poor and the huddled masses. You know, the general population.

He’s even cutting funding for public television, funding that Congress has already approved. Conservatives have hated public television long before Tinky-Winky came out of the closet. It’s the home of such flaming liberals as Bill Moyers and, uh, well that’s pretty much it. And I think Frontline has reported that the evidence that Jesus voted Republican is spotty at best.

But how can anyone hate Sesame Street?

“The Bush White House is taking an axe to help chop off Big Bird’s head and turn Elmo out into the streets,” said Jeff Chester, executive director of the Center for Digital Democracy. Doesn’t Elmo already live on the street? Sesame Street? I must admit I’ve never liked Elmo.

Things are tough as it is on The Street. Oscar the Grouch has to share his trash can with a New Orleans family. Bert can’t get domestic partner benefits for Ernie, and Cookie Monster has diabetes.

Similar proposed cuts were reversed last year after lobbying by broadcasters and a Washington rally of PBS listeners and viewers. Viewers like you.

I bet they received a free tote bag afterwards.

Do teachers really need raises? I mean, teachers make more than bloggers. And, you know, toll booth operators. Maybe.

But teachers are in luck! If your school has been deemed “exemplary,” you could get a bonus of up to $10,000 but, most likely, much, much less than that. Schools are rated largely on student test scores. Which means, if you’re cheating students out of an actual education and instead teaching to the test, you’ll be rewarded. This is known as incentive pay, or “leaving no child ahead.”

According to the Texas Federation of Teachers, “Offering this type of selective incentive instead of a substantial pay raise for teachers across the board is like trying to put the icing on a cake that has yet to be baked.”

Which is worse than most of Perry’s plans, which are typically half-baked.

“Just giving $3,000 to a teacher says, You have made a special contribution to your school, to student learning, and we recognize that,” said Chris Patterson with the Texas Public Policy Foundation.

With that kind of money, you could even lease a used Saturn.

Can we please have a round of applause for JCBT’s guest commentaries? He has freed up my time to go sit in front of the White House with gal pal Cindy Sheehan. – Ed. Note

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. The Texas Supreme Court finally ruled on school finance last night. Property tax caps are bad, but they’re cool with inadequate and inequitable school funding. They also ruled that sending it back to the Legislature does not constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

The Court decided to take on the case after the state appealed an earlier ruling by state judge John Dietz. “Are we prepared for a future in Texas that is dismally poor, needy and ignorant?” Dietz asked in 2004. I’ve personally been preparing for that since 1998.

The best part was that the Court ruled that the current system doesn’t violate the Texas constitutional requirement that school funding provides for a “general diffusion of knowledge.” One of the lawyers for the school districts asked, “Is this state producing a ‘general diffusion of knowledge’ when over 30 percent of the students never graduate from high school?” Uh, over 30 percent of the Legislature doesn’t even know what ‘diffusion’ means.

The Court has given the Legislature until June 1 to correct the property tax problem, and Pink Lady has promised to actually step outside her fortified bunker to cover the session. So at least some good has come out of it.

So Texas has a budget surplus
- $1.2 billion.

As you might imagine, the leadership has devised a plan of where best to allocate the funds: Hurricane Katrina relief, education
and teacher pay raises, and children’s
health insurance.

Oh, I’m just kidding. As you might imagine, they’re not doing anything.

Carole Keeton Strayhorn is pressuring Perry
to call another special session on the surplus and relief efforts, which has nothing at all to do with politics.

Perry spokesperson Kathy Walt: “I heard no call for a special session when Tropical Storm Allison had a direct hit on Texas and did more than $4 billion in damage.”

Good one, Kathy! Let’s start comparing tragedies and natural disasters, and what wasn’t done.

Legislating 101: How to kill your own bill.

Say something like, “I believe this is not the best bill that we can do.”

That’s how Rep. David Swinford introduced HB 8, the House tax bill, last night. According to QR, Swinford told members of the House Select Committee on Public Education that most of the stuff in this bill has been seen before.

Most of the stuff that has happened this session has been seen before. You know those times when you turn on the TV and you watch a show that you never usually watch and it turns out to be the exact same episode you’ve already seen? That’s kind of like the Lege. Or maybe I just watch entirely too much TV.

The $300 million Texas Enterprise Fund rests in the hands of Governor Perry, Lt. Governor Dewhurst and Speaker Craddick.

Chron editorial: Such a setup practically guaranteed a correlation between those who give campaign contributions and political support to the leadership and those who receive millions of taxpayer dollars.

PRACTICALLY guaranteed? Talk about signed, sealed, delivered.

It was raining cats and dogs this morning. So, the reason for the late post… in the immortal words of Milli Vanilli, blame it on the rain.

If you want to hear what happened with telecom (short version – it passed), check out PinkDome. They’ve got a saucy new look – I want a shadow pic of me with my arm casually draped on the Capitol! I want to be saucy!

Last night on the House floor, a whispering campaign about the Speaker’s staff writing the tax bill gained speed. The rumor flew over to the Senate, which was preparing to pass SB 8. It was up to the Capitol Press Corps to set the record straight and tell the Senators that no, Craddick’s staff was not writing the tax bill. As usual, the Lege is taking its cues from the media. It could be worse – they could be taking their cues from the Governor.

(more…)

Say what?

Sen. Eliot Shapleigh is pushing the idea of a state income tax and risking total alienation. Oh, wait a minute. Democrat Senator. He’s already an alien.

DMN’s Karen Brooks: Like a traveling preacher trying to convert a nation, Sen. Eliot Shapleigh is waging a battle to turn an enormous political tide all by himself – one congregation at a time.

State Sen. Eliot Shapleigh’s idea for an income tax has little support in the Legislature. But his presentations to more than 70 audiences over the past 21/2 years have won over some people.

Playing David in his one-man road show: A statewide income tax that he and an increasing number of unlikely disciples say is the only fair and reliable way to fund public education.

The Goliath: A state population that has always hated the idea of an income tax and Republican leaders convinced that voters would call out the lions if they so much as talk about it.

It’s a lonely journey, man. At least he’s got one group backing him.

If the Lege can’t solve school finance, maybe the voters can. (Anything you can’t do, I can’t do better.)

Sen. Steve Ogden has proposed three constitutional amendments: two would switch out local property taxes with a state property tax, and one would allow a tax on business partnerships’ income. Or something
like that. Like I ever read the
Business section.

So what’s really going on here?

Ogden: “This is another way to basically get out of Dodge.”

But Dodge is SO LOVELY this time of year!

Ahhhh, the smell of half-baked ideas, wafting through the Lege…

DMN: “Perry: Some action better than nothing”

Chef Perry: “If you can get half a loaf versus a full loaf, generally you’ll take a slice or two if you can get that… Each day that passes without education reform is another day that textbooks don’t arrive in classrooms on time, another day money set aside for teacher pay raises sits idle in a bank account.”

So just how many schools does a half a loaf feed? And does it come with butter? Because I like bread and butter. Come to think of it, I like toast and jam.

Jim Cardle, of the Texas Citizen Action Network, had this to say: “We can come back later and get property tax relief. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

Gee, I don’t know, Jim. It’s been so long since I’ve eaten elephant.

Sen. Florence Shapiro will be filing a new version of the school finance bill today.

Senators spent yesterday in a secret closed session, apparently trying to hammer out a compromise on school finance. My guess? Stag films.

You’ve got to hand it to the Senate for their efforts. At least they’re trying to look like they’re doing something. As opposed to the lower chamber…

Photo Credit: Tom Reel, Express-News

The Senate and the House are both at ease this afternoon. I haven’t seen this many empty chairs since my “Come As Your Favorite Legislator” dinner party. Things are quiet. *Too* quiet.

QR quotes Dewhurst as saying he’s got the votes to take up school finance in the Senate, and that he intends to “bring it.” (My words,
not his.)

Now, that’s fast.

I mean, DAMN. Legislators on the Senate and House Education committees have already voted out their respective school finance plans so they can get on the floor next week. Sure, they look awfully different but I’m sure these kids can work it out. What do you think, Sen. Ogden?

Photo Credit: AP – Harry Cabluck

(more…)

I’m listening in to the Senate Education Committee via video stream, just for kicks. But then, out of nowhere, I hear Bill Clinton talking about Robin Hood and recapture! Wait a minute, that’s no slick Willy, it’s slick… Staples. He must be running for something.

(more…)

WE’RE SAVED!! JUST KIDDING!!

Not to be outdone by Perry, House Democrats released their own version of a school finance plan yesterday. Sounds good from the tagline:

Key Legislators Seek Bipartisan Support for Plan that Offers More than Politics, More Funding for Schoolchildren and Lower Taxes for More Texans

But when you read the fine print, it’s a different story. You see, the
“key legislators” are… Democrats. The *lucky* ones are treated like second-class citizens. Bipartisan support?! You work in the TEXAS HOUSE.

This plan is DOA. Kind of like the one I just sent to Craddick’s office:

Pink Lady Seeks Total Support for Plan that Doesn’t Really Exist but Couldn’t Be Worse Than What Everyone Else is Submitting