It’s time for ITPT readers to give themselves a well-deserved round of applause. If not for your insightful daily commentary, your exchange of ideas and opinions and your intellectual prowess on all things political (and otherwise)… well, I probably would have been nominated anyway.

ITPT is up for a Koufax award for Best State and Local Blogs (and Best New Blog) which seems to include, well, basically every single state and local blog.

These are the heart and soul of the Lefty Blogosphere, who toil in relative anonymity, in relation to those at the top of the food chain, yet take their work no less seriously.

RELATIVE anonymity? Try Total. I can still walk down Congress Avenue without being stopped once for my autograph. It’s humiliating.

So, if you’d like to go vote for your favorite blog, do so. Of course, if that blog happens to be In the Pink, do so do so. If you vote for another blog, I will find you.

By Fled the Asylum

In an effort to remove all doubt that he is the living embodiment of the mascot of the University of Notre Dame, Bill O’Reilly has challenged
America to a fight.

In a ratings gimmick pithily named
“Bloviate with Bill,” O’Reilly has opened up the email servers to punk kids of all ages who want to take him on, during future episodes of The Factor, on a topic of their choice. Ludacris, David Letterman and anyone capable of effective, rational
argumentation need not apply.

We’ve known for a long time that O’Reilly
is belligerent, but this officially allows us
to check it off of the list of stereotypes about the Irish that he has fulfilled, along with
being a religious zealot. I’m still waiting for that DWI, but I have a sneaking suspicion that once Bill starts with the sauce, he doesn’t
let up until he’s getting face time with the linoleum.

For no reason, other than to assail his character within the bounds of the truth, I’d also like to bring up that he’s a lech.

Tonight, on 20/20, Barbara Walters explores the eternal question, “Heaven: Where Is It? How Do We Get There?”

And “How Do We Get The View To Not Be There?”

Walters interviews people from the Dalai
Lama to archbishops to evangelicals to
rabbis to athiests to scientists to… Maria Shriver, Richard Gere and Mitch Albom,
author of “The Five People You Meet in Heaven.” Like Barbara Walters, the Dalai
Lama, Maria Shriver, Richard Gere and Mitch Albom. Tell me there’s more than one heaven.

According to Pastor Ted Haggard of the National Association of Evangelicals, heaven has been reserved for born again Christians and… nobody else. “Jesus Christ guarantees eternal life to anybody that’ll follow him. The purpose of life is to glorify God and go to heaven ’cause heaven is our home.”

The rest of us will be left behind to deal with a planet filled with war, fire, natural disasters and evil world leaders. KIND OF LIKE RIGHT NOW.

On the other side, there’s Dr. Dean Hamer, a geneticist at the National Institutes of Health, who thinks that spirituality is encoded in our genes. In his research, people who score highest on a survey about faith and spirituality had a mutation on the so-called “God gene.”

Hamer: “It’s a gene that’s called VMAT2 and we can isolate it, and we can study it in detail. … This particular gene controls certain chemicals in the brain. And those chemicals affect how consciousness works.”

Dude. You are so not getting into heaven.

When Walters interviews Gere (American Gigolo turned Hollywood Buddhist), she asks him if he tries to live his life in a particular way.

Gere: “I’m here to serve. I’m here to serve.”

Seriously? Who were you serving when you made “Sommersby?”

Walters asks Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, “If when you go to heaven you are reunited with your loved one, let’s say with your wife or husband — is there sex in heaven?”

What a great question for a man who has taken the oath of life-long celibacy. More importantly, is there a heavenly diaphragm for women
like Walters?

Fled the Asylum is conspiring with JCBT to take over this blog and I’m just sitting here. I’M JUST SITTING HERE. - Ed. Note

After 74 years of being a prick, 25 years with CNN and approximately two years of undermining America’s national security, Robert Novak (speed dial #4 on Karl Rove’s celly) has come clean, finally admitting, “I’ve said some fairly outrageous things.”

Novak was speaking on the announcement
that he’ll be leaving CNN for Fox News
(More Americans Get Their News from Fox
News, than From Any Credible Source), and despite what decency might dictate, he was copping to his comfort level with saying
what’s on his mind in the cozy liberal confines
of the Time Warner corporation, and not to his July 2003 column in which he casually referred to CIA operative Valarie Plame as “that spy bitch” or something along those lines.

Novak’s been on the shelf - a well reinforced shelf, I might add - since August when he simply answered the question “Stepped in what?” on air during one of CNN’s interminable shows where one guy who has a reasonable policy disagreement with with another guy tells the second guy that his mother was most likely a prostitute.

The great thing about this move for Bob is that he’ll now be able to, as his friend James Carville said, “show these right-wingers that he’s got a backbone,” in a setting where the right-wingers will actually see him. Oh, Bobby, please, pull your sweater back down.

John Cornyn’s Box Turtle is one of the five Americans still reading TIME magazine. - Ed. Note

I’m like most Americans in that I don’t know how I feel about a person until they appear on a magazine cover. The more serious the magazine, the better.

So it was with great relief that the magazine that made O.J. Simpson look black, TIME, named their persons of the year last week.

Gazillionaire Bill Gates and his wife Melinda shared the cover along with sunglass mannequin and erstwhile U2 frontman Bono. Through their cleverly named yet extremely well endowed Gates Foundation, the Gates spend a tremendous amount of their money on public health issues in the developing world. Though Bill might not be able to keep Windows free of bugs, he’s doing his best to keep poor children free of them. Truly good work.

Bono was also honored for his humanitarian efforts that remarkably didn’t involve destroying all copies of ‘Pop.’ He instead was on the cover for persuading industrialized countries to forgive billions of dollars in debt owed to them by developing countries. More good work.

Where was he when I owed $20 to Columbia House in high school?

I went to the taping of “Texas Monthly Talks” today and got to see Maureen Dowd, up close and personal. And you thought I never left my house. Or showered. Or got dressed. Or saw the light of day.

Evan Smith interviewed Dowd about the
New York Times, politics, the battle of the sexes and her new book, “Are Men Necessary?” She looked fabulous. Come to think of it, so did Evan (hire me).

I got her to sign my book, and I mentioned that we’re practically sisters - we’re both writers, we grew up in DC, we’re Irish, she’s famous, I’m nothing.

From Chapter One:

A top New York producer confessed that he wanted to ask me out on a date when he was between marriages, but nixed the idea because my job as a Times columnist made me too intimidating. Men, he explained, prefer women who seem malleable and awed. He predicted that I would never find a mate, because if there’s one thing men fear, it’s a woman who uses her critical faculties.

He had hit on a primal fear of single successful women: that the aroma of male power is an aphrodisiac for women, but the perfume of female power is a turnoff for men.

Totally. Men constantly hit on me but once they find out I’m a high-powered blogger, they steer clear. They know they’ll never be able to keep up with my rock and roll lifestyle.

Texas newspaper elitists. You know who you are. You editorial board members wearing expensive Italian suits, sipping on lattes while laughing about how superior you are to the average Texan. (This would be in stark contrast to the editors I’ve worked with, who sported jelly donut-stained jackets, growled at reporters and tossed a few back during lunch.)

Concerning the sorry state of newspapers, the Lone Star Report is right on the money. To quote Hall & Oates, you’re out of touch, and I’m out of time. But… I’m out of my head when you’re not around.

According to James Bernsen, the people of Texas dissed the major newspapers by overwhelmingly voting for Proposition 2.

In truth, the editorial boards sit behind their curtains like the Wizard of Oz, turning dials, creating smoke, and shouting into amplifiers. But when it all comes down to it, they’re helpless against the people. And on Prop 2, the people gave them the finger.

Yes, I noticed more than a few voters exiting their booths, screaming into the wind, “F*ck you, media! Take that, you f*cking liberal pigs!”

Well, at least Bernsen has some constructive ideas on how to overturn this LIBERAL BIAS that has run amok in newsrooms across the state.

If you want a diverse editorial board, you don’t hire five white liberals, a black liberal and a Hispanic liberal. That’s not a diversity of ideas. When was the last time a paper hired a white male from Abilene? A suburban woman from The Woodlands?

Yes, if newspapers want to survive, they better hand their editorial boards over to white housewives from planned communities.

Judith Miller, the reporter who canoodled with Scooter Libby on the CIA leak case, has “retired” from the New York Times.

I’m sure the worst part for Judy was when her supervisor asked her if he could “have a word” with her, only to lead her into
a windowless conference room containing an HR person, who made her sign a confidentiality agreement and then extolled
the virtues of their generous
benefits package. Then I bet Judy went back to her desk, where she discovered she was locked out of her computer.
After that, she was most likely “escorted” from the building while co-workers stared her down like she was Melanie Griffith from “Working Girl.”

YES, I’VE BEEN LAID OFF BEFORE.

Publisher Arthur Sulzberger, Jr.: “We are grateful to Judy for her significant personal sacrifice to defend an important journalistic principle. I respect her decision to retire from The Times and wish her well.”

Maybe she can go hang with Jayson Blair.

I don’t think that MSNBC could get more desperate if they tried.

The beleaguered cable news network is kicking off a weekly news talk show starring REAL LIFE husband and wife team, Maury Povich and
Connie Chung!

Oh, wait, I saw this movie - “He Said, She Said” - and it was DREADFUL. Although it was Kevin Bacon’s most memorable performance since “Flatliners.” (You should have told us, Nelson!)

MSNBC president Rick Kaplan hopes that this pairing will be like Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. You know, that’s funny, because whenever I think of Connie Chung, I think Katharine Hepburn. And then I sober up and can’t believe I thought that.

Little known fact: Povich is an acquaintance and old golfing buddy of President Bush’s. Bush calls him “MoPo.” And Povich LETS HIM.

This week’s Newsweek features a bunch of old people on the cover. All I have to say is, Barry Manilow is 60?! The man who brought us Lola and Tony and Rico? Do you have any idea how old that makes me feel? I used to ROLLER SKATE to his songs. I can’t smile without him. I can’t laugh, and I can’t sing. In fact, I’m finding it hard, to do anything.

And now, for our most special moment from yesterday’s White House press briefing. Playing the part of press secretary Scott McClellan will be, unfortunately, Scott McClellan.

Q: “On October 7, 2003, you were asked
about a couple of the key players here, Karl Rove and Scooter Libby, as well as another administration official who has not figured in
the investigation, so far as we know. And you said the following, There are unsubstantiated accusations that are made, and that’s
exactly what happened in the case of these three individuals, including Rove and Libby. They’re good individuals, they’re important members of our White House team, and
that’s why I spoke with them, so that I
could come back to you and say that they
were not involved. You were wrong then, weren’t you?”

Awwwwww, SNAP.

McCLELLAN: “David, it’s not a question of whether or not I’d like to talk more about this. I think I’ve indicated to you all that I’d be glad to talk about this once this process is complete, and I look forward to that opportunity. But, again, we have been directed by the White House Counsel’s Office not to discuss this matter or respond to questions about it.”

Q: “That was a public representation that was made to the American people.”

McCLELLAN: “Hang on. We can have this conversation, but let me respond.”

Q: “No, no, no, because it’s such an artful dodge. Whether there’s a question of legality –”

Come on, Scotty. You’re not going to take that, are you? Give ‘em the old razzle dazzle.

McCLELLAN: “No, I disagree with you.”

There you go. Now we’re cooking… with gas.

Q: “Whether there’s a question of legality, we know for a fact that there was involvement. We know that Karl Rove, based on what he and his lawyer have said, did have a conversation about somebody who Patrick Fitzgerald said was a covert officer of the Central Intelligence Agency. We know that Scooter Libby also had conversations.”

McCLELLAN: “I don’t think that’s accurate.”

Dude. Scooter’s been INDICTED on FIVE COUNTS. At least PRETEND you’re not under Rove’s mind control.

Q: “So aside from the question of legality here, you were wrong, weren’t you?”

McCLELLAN: “Again, David, if I were to get into commenting from this podium while this legal proceeding continues, I might be prejudicing the opportunity for there to be a fair and impartial trial. And I’m just not going to do that. I know very –”

Q: “You speak for the President. Your credibility and his credibility is not on criminal trial. But it may very well be on trial with the American public, don’t you agree?”

McCLELLAN: “No, I’m very confident in the relationship that we have in this room, and the trust that has been established between us. This relationship –”

Q: “See those cameras? It’s not about us. It’s about what the American people –”

McCLELLAN: “This relationship is built on trust, and you know very well that I have worked hard to earn the trust of the people in this room, and I think I’ve earned it –”

Q: “I haven’t heard a response.”

McCLELLAN: “Well, no, I have been responding to you, David, and there’s no need — you’re a good reporter, there’s no need to be rude or disrespectful. We can have a conversation and respond to these questions, if you’ll just give me the opportunity to respond. I’m glad to do that.”

Oh, I think now is the time for rudeness. The White House press corps has been exceedingly polite for FAR TOO LONG.

Apparently, blogging is therapeutic.

There’s an article on “cyber-catharsis” in today’s Washington Post.

The Internet is now teeming with some 15 million blogs. Although the medium first drew mainstream attention with commentary on high-profile events such as the
presidential election, many now use
it to chronicle intensely personal experiences, venting confessions in front of millions of strangers who can
write back. Nearly half of bloggers consider it a form of therapy, according to a recent survey sponsored by America Online Inc.

I would never, ever vent confessions in front of millions of strangers. Luckily, there are not millions of strangers frequenting this blog.

Now we turn to the age-old question, is blogging therapy? I don’t think there’s any question that most bloggers need intensive therapy, multiple interventions and pharmaceutical support. But is sitting at your laptop the best course of action for the mentally unstable and socially inept?

Then there’s this: A blogger can erase a previous entry, but it’s often saved on an Internet server and remains visible for years to come.

DON’T TELL ME THAT. That’s all I need - incriminating photos of me wearing a “These Are Not Talking Points” t-shirt. And it seemed like such
a good idea at the time.

“It’s like they’re writing the novel of their lives, and [public] participation adds truth to their story,” says a VP at AOL.

My life’s work. Politics, Texas-style. I need to redirect.

Not a good day for newspapers.

The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times are both running stories today concerning the economic woes of print journalism, from
lay-offs to declining readership.

NYT: Beyond the industry’s economic woes, the future is clouded by the rapid expansion of the Internet, leaving newspapers in an identity crisis as they try to come to grips with fundamental changes in the industry and society that are significantly curbing their growth… Papers are bolstering their Web sites, building Internet offerings, encouraging reporters to write blogs and produce audio feeds and creating ways for citizens to submit their own material.

When I was at journalism school (yes, I went to journalism school and just LOOK AT ME NOW - J-school students beware), there was a clear division between broadcast students and print students. I was a print student. You could tell by my unkempt hair and hangovers. You could tell by the stacks of yellowing newspapers around my apartment. You could tell by the perma-coffee breath. You could tell by the reporter’s notebook and illegible scribblings. You could tell by my delusions of grandeur of becoming a foreign news correspondent, only to settle in at a suburban daily covering school board meetings.

But I digress (another characteristic of print journalists). While newspapers explore new ways to attract readers, especially younger ones, through more sophisticated websites and even WEB LOGS (i.e. blogs, such as the one you’re reading), I’ll be on the sidelines rooting for the survival of the printed word.

Guest writer Perry’s Mollycoddler was writing this live. Now it’s a few hours later so it’s no longer “live” but it’s pretty damn close. - Ed. Note

Perry’s Mollycoddler here. I have infiltrated the LBJ School, and I’m writing this email live from “Modern American Political Campaigns.” Wayne Slater of the Dallas Morning News is currently speaking and he’s about to introduce Mark Halperin of ABC’s “The Note,” not to be mistaken with “The View.”

Big applause…welcome Mark Halperin. Oooh, he said he’s going to answer our questions. Excellent.

I just realized something. Mark Halperin had a cameo appearance in the documentary The War Room. He was standing outside a debate location and Paul Begala asked him to do his best Al Gore impression. He was spot on. I hope someone asks him to do it today.

Halperin is about to list some of the major problems with the media. Oh wait… he just mentioned public officials and asked if that “young state legislator was here today.” He was, of course, referring to Representative Patrick Rose. When Wayne interrupted and asked, “Patrick, are you here?” there was silence.

Poor Patrick, missing an opportunity to make nice with a big-time political reporter.

Okay, problem number 1 - deadlines. Apparently, deadlines cause reporters to mess up. Simple enough. It happens all the time on FOX, right? Problem 2 - the rigors of production. So doing your job is a problem. Gotcha. Problem 3 - reporters are not policy experts. Hack political reporters don’t know crap about healthcare and such. I tend to agree. Of course, hack politicians don’t know crap about healthcare either, so this one is a wash. Problem 4 - the Left and the Right hate the press…both think the press is biased against them. According to Halperin, some of the press is biased against Republicans. Some. Also, some reporters are biased against Democrats. Some. Halperin just said the cardinal rule to remember - reporters are not your friends. PM Note - I just think reporters are whores…not bloggers, just reporters.

Problems 5-8 - reporters seize on little things that happen, turn them into superficial metaphors, appeal to the lowest common denominator and are just plain lazy. Lazy? Interesting. Being in that political bubble grinds you down… makes you tired… and lazy. Good to know. Finally, news organizations have not figured out how to make money with a sound economic model with new media (or old media for that matter). Well, duh. Pink Lady hasn’t figured that out yet, so why would anyone think Rupert Murdoch could do it?

The solution to these problems, according to Mark, is to have journalists and media moguls who actually, get ready for it, who actually care about the news. I like it. He’s such an idealist though, because we all know that’ll never happen.

Now it’s a Q&A session. Boring. LBJ students do not ask good questions. They all want to know how to save the world. I’m standing by for something juicy, otherwise, this last half hour might be a waste….

Well, the last good point made was this - until the mainstream media can once again become a public referee of the political process and of politicians and policy in general, they will continue to have major credibility issues. Until then, it’s up to bloggers like you, PL, to keep it real. So…keep it real.

CNN’s top story Friday was all about Bush’s speech last night from New Orleans and how the great city will rise again. (By the way, what is the “Gulf Opportunity Zone?” Is that code for “private sector, you take this one?” ) Of course, President Bush is at the National Cathedral praying all day today so we’ll see how things go.

The other top stories:

Renee Zellweger’s bogus marriage is on par with Ophelia and suicide bombers. Now *that’s* infotainment.

BUT OMG, can you believe it’s over? And Renee listed “fraud” as the reason for seeking an annulment. Fraud? Like, she didn’t know before they got married that Chesney’s a baldie?

(Editor’s Note: Still no laptop. How can you be a blogger without a laptop? Sooner or later my neighbors are going to realize that I’ve been climbing in their windows to use their computers. As well as going through their personal belongings. And man, you people are freaks.)

It’s not every day that you hear of a blog called Three Months in Palestine. Written by a former Statesman reporter and all-around great writer, Bob Gee.

Curiosity, and a bare pantry, finally got the best of me. I decided to go to Palestine’s only shopping mall. The Plaza Shopping Center is known among locals as “blaza mol.� I took a shared taxi to the mall from downtown for 35 cents. My first stop was the food court. Among the three options, Mac Chain Burgers seemed the most promising. I ordered a double cheese burger meal, which came without cheese, but the burger patties were surprisingly good. The restaurant’s slogan is “Best Burgers in Palestine.� I haven’t found burgers anywhere else, so that could be true.

It’s good stuff, man. Check it out.

The Houston Chronicle has been distributing “mini-newspapers” to the Astrodome and other shelters entitled “News for Katrina Evacuees.”

Perhaps they can send copies to President Bush to keep him in the loop.

Scott over at Grits sent me a story from The Wall Street Journal with this shocking headline:

Blogger Faces Lawsuit Over Comments Posted by Readers

I almost spit out my Italian Soda.

Apparently, an Internet company named Traffic-Power.com sued a blogger over reader comments.

Legal analysts said the suit could be a test case for determining what protections bloggers have or don’t have for allegedly defamatory material posted by others. At issue would be the court’s application of the federal Communications Decency Act, a 1996 law that, broadly, protects providers of computer services from being held liable for content posted by others.

Let’s state the obvious - why sue a blogger? The most you could hope to get is a used Saturn with
no power steering.

If I did get sued and thrown in prison and, later, perhaps house arrest and an ankle bracelet for good behavior, maybe I’d get my own daytime talk show.

Girrrrlllll, now *that’s* Living.

Olivia Newton-John’s boyfriend, Patrick McDermott, has been missing since a fishing trip. If you didn’t know that, then you haven’t been watching MSNBC, which has become the unofficial network of… Olivia Newton-John.

The Abrams Report covered it earlier this week in “Xanadu Lost.” (No,
I’m not kidding. Alternate title? “You’re the One that I Miss.” )

Abrams: “This is such a puzzling case. Here’s the first thing that I don‘t understand. Why did it take so long to realize he was missing? I mean, if Olivia Newton-John was dating him for nine years, didn’t she wonder why he hadn’t contacted her in weeks?”

He’s right! She’s probably involved!

Now, former FBI profiler and MSNBC “analyst” Clint Van Zandt tries to crack the case. Using his FBI skills, Van Zandt tells us that McDermott could have:

a) Fallen overboard and drowned.
b) Been pushed overboard.
c) Jumped overboard.
d) Faked his disappearance.
e) Dropped out of sight.

What?! Where’s the “abducted by aliens” scenario?

Smooch has been missing in action WAY longer than the runaway bride. So I have to take up the social commentary slack. If you see Smooch, please tell her to come back and all will be forgiven. I believe she was last seen drinking herself half-blind and playing with fire in Playa Car.

Someone has actually paid HALF A MILLION DOLLARS for the rights to the story of Jennifer Wilbanks, the Atlanta runaway bride.

Seriously? Yeah, they already made that movie. It was called… Runaway Bride. And it was Richard Gere’s
worst performance since… Pretty Woman.

If you can’t wait for the Lifetime Television Movie starring Valerie Bertinelli or Nancy McKeon, then all you have to do is watch Katie Couric’s HOUR LONG interview with the couple next Tuesday.

According to NBC, “This was a ‘get’ by Katie… it takes a lot of work. You talk to a lot of people. We put our best people out there.”

Damn. I’d hate to see what happens when you put your WORST people out there.

How about this idea, Katie? Why don’t you do a prime-time special on all the REAL missing non-white women?