Against the Ropes

May 7, 2007 - 11:05 am 20 Comments

I ventured out to a sports bar Saturday night to watch the big Oscar De La Hoya/Floyd Mayweather fight. I don’t usually go to sports bars because they don’t have a wide selection of pinots and everyone drinks domestic. Luckily, they had Harp. (Yes, I know it was Cinco de Mayo and I was drinking Irish lager. I was also the only barfly that brought my own speed bag.)

Before the fight began, the camera panned the Vegas audience to point out celebrities: Leonardo DiCaprio, Toby Maguire, Jack Nicholson, Will Ferrell, John Cusack, Jim Carrey and… John McCain. Yes, Sen. McCain and his wife had ringside seats, third row. Now, I realize Cindy McCain has supposedly dealt with her addiction to prescription painkillers. But girl’s just GOTTA be on something. She just sat there, expressionless, as two men duked it out right in front of her face for 12 violent rounds.

I blame Sen. McCain for the fact that I missed some of the more critical moments of the fight. In almost every shot, there he was in the background, craning his octogenarian neck to get a better view with that disturbing frozen smile on his face. It was very distracting, not to mention creepy. It was like he was that ghost boy from ‘Three Men and a Baby.’

The fight was a good one even though no one got knocked out. I kept screaming all the boxing terms I know at the flat-panel screens: Jab! Hook! Undercut! Guard your face! Rocky!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t take my eyes off McCain. As far as I know, he was the only Republican candidate there. Although the other nine would have fit in perfectly with a bunch of rich white people watching two minority men beat each other up in the ring.

20 Responses to “Against the Ropes”

  1. JohnCornyn'sBoxTurtle Says:

    You watched the fight at Sugar’s?

  2. treehugger Says:

    What’s with the black guy in the Cinco de Mayo colored trunks?

  3. Jesus B. Ochoa Says:

    who won? and why?

  4. FledTheAsylum Says:

    Re: 2. treehugger

    You missed the sombrero, and the T-shirts that his trainers were wearing that said “Mexico Loves Mayweather”.

    That was actually the best part of the night.

    Floyd came out with 50 Cent, and it might be the scotch remembering for me, but I’m pretty sure Oscar came out with Linda Ronstadt rapping.

    Floyd won in a 2-1 decision. Apparently, only 1 judge got the memo that this was a Golden Boy Production.

  5. laura Says:

    Re: 4. FledTheAsylum

    the sombrero was awesome. and by awesome, i mean totally insulting to Mexicans everywhere.

  6. FledTheAsylum Says:

    Re: 5. laura

    I gotta call bull*shit.

    a) It was on Cinco De Mayo, when we are encouraged, albeit largely by the Gambrinus Company, to celebrate Mexican culture. Drunken ass*holes allover America wore sombreros Saturday night, my guess is that few of them were thinking “this wacky hat will show them!”.

    b) Despite what he may want you to believe, Oscar De La Hoya is not “Mexicans everywhere.” He’s one dude. If Floyd wore the hat to put it in Oscar’s face for, for example, wrapping himself in the Mexican flag, while he has lived a uniquely American life, that’s a dig at Oscar, not at “Mexicans everywhere.”

  7. treehugger Says:

    Re: 3. Jesus B. Ochoa

    Cockfighting and Bullfighting are illegal so they use humans instead.

    Fortunately, Tom Russell (from somewhere out by El Paso) only writes songs about cockfighting.

  8. lush Says:

    Re: 6. FledTheAsylum

    I thought Oscar De La Hoya was Cuban.

    /not really

  9. Pink Lady Says:

    De La Hoya’s wife was 16.

  10. Shriz-noat Says:

    I received this unsolicited, blank subject line email from PL on Saturday night at 9:

    De la hoya or Mayweather?
    Sent via BlackBerry

    For some reason, I found this email unsettling. Why was PL suddenly asking for my opinion on boxing? It ruined my night.

    /My high school was a few blocks away from Muhammad Ali Boulevard.

  11. lush Says:

    Re: 7. treehugger

    The Pugilist at 59?

  12. Pink Lady Says:

    Re: 10. Shriz-noat

    Those blackberry messages are not to be disclosed, per your contract.

  13. treehugger Says:

    Re: 11. lush

    Ok, ok. ISC. The guy’s written a ton of songs, I shouldn’t have assumed.

    Jack Johnson, also.

  14. lush Says:

    Re: 13. treehugger

    I’m not sure I follow you on JJ–Mediocre Bad Guys?

    Mark Knopfler has a great song about Sonny Liston though….

  15. treehugger Says:

    Re: 14. lush

    Jack Johnson, the TR song.

    “Not every song connects, but those that do pack the punch of Jack Johnson, the black heavyweight champion who also lends his story (”Jack Johnson”) to Russell’s bleak take on the American landscape.”

    From some review via google search. I’m not familiar with the song. The last time I saw TR he was happy to NOT have to play Gallo del Cielo for the Kerrville Folk Festival crowd. The upcoming train trip to Copper Canyon with him and Butch and Laurie Lewis looks interesting though. I took that train trip in 1977… and this could be the most random discourse hijack I’ve ever posted here.

    You’re such an inspiration, lush.

  16. lush Says:

    Re: 15. treehugger

    Right back at ya, tree. How sad that I thought of Jack Johnson the surfer-singer instead of Jack Johnson the fighter.

  17. FledTheAsylum Says:

    Re: 16. lush

    Either way, keep it super casual.

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2480224605402077458&q=JJ+Casuals+video

  18. laura Says:

    Re: 6. FledTheAsylum

    spoken like a true white man.

  19. FledTheAsylum Says:

    Re: 18. laura

    Floyd’s not white.

    /Prove that Mexico does *not* love Mayweather.

  20. FledTheAsylum Says:

    Re: 18. laura

    Wait wait wait wait wait wait.

    I thought I was a part of the PC police.

    I thought I was the one who couldn’t take a joke.