Aug 19
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, more women in their early 40s (NO I’M NOT THERE YET STOP TELLING ME TO FREEZE MY EGGS) are childless, and those who are having children are having fewer than ever before. This could only mean one thing. Women, as a whole, are beginning to hate children. But the ones who do decide to reproduce are willing to overlook that so they can get out of working.
In the past three decades, the number of women age 40 to 44 with no children has doubled, and those who have kids have an average of 1.9 children each. This is an outrage. What, they couldn’t go the extra tenth of a percent and have two full kids?
Now, I would say that we don’t have to worry, that the younger women can pick up our slack and have like a million babies but, unfortunately, a new study shows that birth control pills could mess with a woman’s ability to find a genetically compatible mate, which is, in the end, all about body odor. But isn’t everything?
Apparently body odor is a critical factor in choosing an appropriate baby daddy. Our bodies send out aromatic molecules indicating genetic compatibility. So, no, that’s not my Preparation H you’re smelling, it’s my major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes. Your ideal mates are those that have different MHC smells from you. But women on the pill prefer men with matching MHC odors. (They also prefer to sleep around than sleep alone.)
Now when two people really love each other, their MHC genes intermingle. Men and women with different MHC genes produce offspring with better immune systems. More importantly, a couple with dissimilar MHC genes are more satisfied and more likely to remain faithful to their mates.
Hey — I’ve got an idea to save civilization as we know it. Stay off your whore medicine, ladies.
The trackback URL is here.
You had me at “compatible MHC genes.”
Stay off my whore medicine? Not in a million years.
So THAT explains it. I’ll get off this whore medecine right now! My body should be in the pre-pregnancy state anyway. I wish a politician could get more into my business and tell me what to do.
Wow. Somehow I feel like the humor of the “whore medicine” line would have been lost if say, I, for example had dropped that.
NOW YOU TELL ME - It was my whore meds that led me to a life of serial dating men with matching whatchmacallits. All this time, I thought it was the beer goggles….
I don’t think we have too much to worry about. The British press was full of a story this weekend about the UK birth rate being at it’s highest in 30 years and how they’re being swamped with babies. That number …. also 1.9.
Not to get into a sponge-worthy argument, but I heart I.U.D.s
‘Our bodies send out aromatic molecules indicating genetic compatibility.’
So dogs have been right all along. All that sniffing of each others behinds. My next Happy Hour should prove to be interesting.
Re: 5. Commie Pinko
You’ve never been to a pink mafia happy hour, have you?
/Sniff sniff. Hi Lurkette.
Save civilization?! Haven’t you heard? We’re overpopulated.
Maybe you need to let those eggs of yours shrivel up with the rest of us.
Damn - you mean the man I married (with whom I have three children and a joint bank account) might not have been the right one!?
Re: 7. Austinmom
Just stay on the hormones through menopause and no one will be the wiser.
Hormonal war veteran…family balance is not when you have one female ending fertility and another female starting fertility. Yes, boss, I do believe I’ll take that out-of-town assignment.
Some of us here remember the 70’s. That would be the time that was post oral conception, pre-AIDS, and all STD’s were fixed with a couple of shots at the health clinic. It. Was. Wonderful.
Re: 9. treehugger
Except for Disco.
I learn so much freaking stuff from this blog.
Re: 9. treehugger
And the Armadillo was still open.
/Yes. It. Was.
http://www.showlush.com
Holy hell. So…. I meet someone I’m really attracted to while I’m off the pill. I decide I want to sleep with him and start taking the pill again. Only to decide I’m no longer attracted to him. This explains everything.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 17. lush
What happened to Show Lush Abstaining?
http://www.showlush.com
Re: 18. Pink Lady
Where have you been for the last eight months?
Re: 14. treehugger
Damn ,Tree you must be about as old as me (and DMWP).
You kids get off of my yard!
Times were good, but remember Tricky Dick(not a STD) and that stupid, pointless war
/caught up in an endless loop
Re: 20. Pink Oilman
Not a geezer but I can see the onramp from here. Haven’t chased any kids from the yard yet, but I’m getting good practice in the drought with that water hose thing.
How about that 1973 and the end of the draft? Plans for meeting the Canadian wing of the family sort of fell through after that.
Re: 16 DMWP
Willie trumps disco. Glorius. I had to leave music radio for a while (C&W at the time was hideous also) but NPR and public radio stations pullled me back in after a time. I didn’t visit Austin near frequently enough in those days.
Re: 21. treehugger
I moved to Austin in ‘78 to attend UT, and being in Austin, I was able to completely avoid disco. God it was fun, and we so took it for granted. Kids. What’re you gonna do? Although … I will say I much prefer the one job now to the two jobs and school then.
Yes, Eileen, we’ve hijacked your site for geezer remembrances. Get used to it.
Re: 22. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
And to think I was tired of school and declined grad school to move to Dallas in early ‘79 for a “real” job. BAM! WHOMP! (two bad moves) Plus, OMG, they were going to raise state school tuition to $13 a semester hour…the horrors. Meanwhile, Bush (who?)was losing and Clements was winning but I don’t think I much cared at the time.
Re: 19. lush
Having sex with her husband.
But not on the pill (like the rest of us whores).
But also not pregnant.
I’m SO confused.
/Baby PL for VP in ‘56?
//’68?
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 24. double tonic
I hate you.
Re: 25. Pink Lady
Dem convention….Denver….new moon….keynote speakers….Airport Motel 6….you just never know.
/And we shall name him…..Coors.
Re: 9. Lefty
Oh, hey. I *thought* that was you…
Re: 26. treehugger
Coors for Veep
Re: 28. Pink Oilman
Which Coors for Veep?
PL: Wasn’t one of the Coors heirs one of those TV Batchelors?