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Tuesday
Nov 27
10:54am by Pink Lady; General

In a showdown reminiscent of Ali versus George Foreman, of Rocky versus Ivan Drago, of Marie Osmond versus Mel B., two major heavyweights will campaign in Iowa for frontrunners Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton will be traveling the state with their favorite candidates attempting to shore up votes, especially among women voters, before the Jan. 3 Iowa caucuses. For her part, Oprah plans to give a free midsize Pontiac G6 to everyone who pledges their vote to Obama.

Oprah, listed as one of the most powerful voices in public life by Forbes, has never endorsed a presidential candidate. She has, however, endorsed some really awful books. The talk show host presents a formidable challenge to Bill Clinton’s star power and charm; however, Bill has never just sat there smiling while Tom Cruise jumped on his couch in the throes of a psychotic episode.

A spokesman for John Edwards, Eric Schultz, said that “John Edwards’s 80-page ‘Plan to Build One America’ may not show up on Oprah’s Book Club anytime soon, but we think voters in Iowa and New Hampshire will value the specifics in that book just as much as a visit from any big celebrities.” Sad, really. The Edwards camp does have Bonnie Raitt. Sad, really.

According to the most recent Washington Post/ABC News poll, Obama is running neck-in-neck in Iowa with Clinton among women. But Hillary has the support of the advocacy group Emily’s List, headed by a woman named Emily, which has announced a statewide drive to turn out female voters for her. Meanwhile, the Obama camp has announced that Oprah will bring them the coveted miserable drunken housewife vote.



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1. Fled The Asylum
posted November 27th, 2007 at 12:54 pm

I’m confused. Is John Edwards trying to build the third America, now?

Two Americas… North and South? And “building one” - that WOULD be a third, right? Central? Or is this third one going to be in the same place as the first two?

You know what someone should do… Someone should build an America in Montana, Wyoming, Idaho - that area. I saw Napoleon Dynamite, and it looks like there’s lots of room for more America in Idaho.

2. West Texas Hillbilly
posted November 27th, 2007 at 1:32 pm

Obama was caught necking Clinton in Iowa? Did I read that right?

3. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
posted November 27th, 2007 at 2:20 pm

“Meanwhile, the Obama camp has announced that Oprah will bring them the coveted miserable drunken housewife vote.”

Not as good as the miserable drunken blogger vote, but impressive nonetheless.

4. Mojo
posted November 27th, 2007 at 2:40 pm

Re: 3. Don’t Mess w/ Pink

OMG you totally beat me to the punch.

/and by “miserable drunken housewife vote” you mean “blogger vote” right?

5. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
posted November 27th, 2007 at 2:53 pm

Re: 4. Mojo

Pickled minds think alike?

6. Anonymous
posted November 27th, 2007 at 3:37 pm

Emily is an acronym. It stands for Early Money is Like Yeast…if you get it, just get some cream to take care of it.

7. Pink Lady
posted November 27th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
http://www.inthepinktexas.com

Re: 6. Anonymous

You still haven’t grossed me out. My least favorite word is moist.

8. Anonymous
posted November 27th, 2007 at 4:32 pm

Moist money is also like yeast.

9. Mojo
posted November 27th, 2007 at 5:37 pm

Re: 6. Anonymous

What if you don’t get it? Because I, like, don’t get it.

10. Perry’s Mollycoddler
posted November 28th, 2007 at 10:10 am

Re: 9. Mojo
Yeast infection reference.

11. Mojo
posted November 28th, 2007 at 10:38 am

Re: 10. Perry’s Mollycoddler

That much I picked up on. The cream to take care of it, is what didn’t take.

You see, the joke had potential, but no follow through.

Something like, Early Money Is Like Yeast - it keeps everyone else away.

or, hell, i don’t know.

12. Perry’s Mollycoddler
posted November 28th, 2007 at 1:34 pm

Re: 11. Mojo

The real tagline is Early Money is Like Yeast - it makes the dough rise. I think that has all sorts of nasty connotations.

13. treehugger
posted November 28th, 2007 at 2:47 pm

Re: 12. Perry’s Mollycoddler

For the bloggers: EMILY- it turns sugar to ethanol. It makes for rising and for falling down….

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