Nov 14
As I have blogged before (and I would do it again), I prefer Starbucks to independent coffee shops. This is especially true now that we have entered the holiday season. What better way to start off your morning than with a grande 800-calorie skim pumpkin spice latte with light whip? (It’s critical to ask for both skim milk and whipped cream to aid in digestion.)
To think that all this time, I have been completely unaware that I have been discriminated against. New research conducted by a caffeine- addicted economist found that women are poorly treated by the staff when compared to men. This treatment included giving some women the wrong drink and OH MY GOD if that happens again, I will sue for discrimination. I SAID SOY. YOU ARE NOT FIT TO WEAR THE GREEN APRON.
The team studied coffee shops all over Beantown and discovered that men get their coffee 20 seconds earlier than women. What I wouldn’t give for 20 more seconds in the day. Actually, I have noticed this blatantly sexist time lag and, in the past, I have threatened the barista with one of their day-old rock-hard blueberry scones.
Although women tend to order more complicated drinks, throwing out “non-fat” and “half-caf” and “no-foam” to pretend that this dessert in a cup won’t go straight to their ass, that didn’t account for the wait time. Interestingly enough, when the staff was all-male, women actually waited longer. There is, of course, a simple explanation. Men are incompetent.
OMG! LOL! Go make me a sandwich, incompetent male barista!
The trackback URL is here.
http://www.coyotemercury.com/blog1
So at 20 seconds per day, how many ITPT posts are we losing each week? You’re being silenced!
http://www.showlushabstaining.blogspot.com
Could it be that the male staff wanted to keep the hot female clients around longer? Sounds about right to me.
Why don’t you have your barrister make your sandwich?
Re: 3. Fled The Asylum
I’m busy.
Re: 2. lush
What she said.
As for this, PL: “(It’s critical to ask for both skim milk and whipped cream to aid in digestion.)” … They automatically use skim milk unless you ask otherwise. You would know this if you spent less time ogling the former Bachelors.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 5. double tonic
I thought 2% was the default. I believe you are mistaken.
Re: 6. Pink Lady
I thought 2% was skim. I believe you are confused.
Re: 7. double tonic
2% is low fat. Skim is nonfat to 1%.
http://www.showlushabstaining.blogspot.com
Re: 7. double tonic
I expect you to have limited knowledge of alcoholic beverages, but–really–you should get the wholesome right.
Re: 7. double tonic
http://hem.passagen.se/muntz/haha.wav
Re: 10. Fled The Asylum
“Hey, now. ” She said, looking over her glasses with a frown.
I thought this was a post about Al Edwards.
PL,
I tried so hard not to fall for your starbucks bait - i know you do it for the reaction - but i caved. It’s not that you hate independent coffee shops. It’s that you can’t stand the mentality of the hipsters who work there. As in “i’m so cool, you’re not even worthy enough to be ordering from me.” Everywhere else (minus portland and seattle) the starbuck’s baristas are nothing but a sad reminder of the generic, generic, generic, keep-nothing weirdness of the rest of the country, and independent coffee shops are a refuge for the eccentric-minded. Not to mention starbuck’s loves to eat them some brown orphan babies south of the border.
Re: 13. Pinko Heart
Have you ever had to wait 30 minutes for a cup of coffee at Little City while the stoner jackasses behind the counter yawned and chatted and shoegazed? It’s a big deal. It affects the quality of your day, my friend.
Independent coffee shops are disappearing because the dumbass employees are killing them. It’s no small thing to be treated like shit when you’re buy sub-standard coffee anyway.
Yes, I’d rather be treated right at Starbuck’s then hope for a winning ticket at some shady startup