I mistakenly thought that the Republican debate from Michigan would be airing tonight, not smack in the middle of the workday. I heard CNBC on in Evan Smith’s office (usually he’s watching Oprah at this time) so I knocked on the door to find him and Mike Levy drinking scotch and smoking cigars.

I asked if I could watch the debate for a few minutes, which caused Mike to look at Evan and say, “I thought you fired her last week.” I backed out quietly and closed the door but left it cracked so I could catch a glimpse of Fred Thompson in his very first debate.

Let me just say this. Fred Thompson would perform better on ‘The Bachelor’ than he does in this forum. This is what we’ve been waiting for? I WAS PROMISED THE SECOND COMING OF REAGAN!

The economic debate is being moderated by Chris Matthews and Maria Bartiromo, whose lips can’t be more collagenated. Yes, I’m just jealous. I always wanted to look like Chris Matthews.

To everyone I invited over to my Republican Debate Party, I apologize. The Mitt Romney-shaped cookies and the Giuliani hunch punch will just have to wait until next time.