Calling all patriots. A vote for Hillary or Obama is a vote for the complete destruction of America.

Via Politico, the Christ figure of 9/11, Rudy Giuliani, warned that if a Democrat is elected president in 2008, America will be at risk for another terrorist attack equal to or even worse than 9/11.

However, if a Republican is elected - say, someone like Rudy Giuliani - terrorist attacks will be anticipated and thwarted, mostly by bombing Iran to the tune of Barbara Ann.

“If any Republican is elected president — and I think obviously I would be the best at this — we will remain on offense and will anticipate what [the terrorists] will do and try to stop them before they do it,” Giuliani said, clad only in Stars & Stripes underoos. Well of COURSE Rudy would be the best protector of the nation. Probably due to his robust foreign policy experience, which involves visiting New Jersey.

“I listen a little to the Democrats and if one of them gets elected, we are going on defense,” Giuliani continued. “We will wave the white flag on Iraq. We will cut back on the Patriot Act, electronic surveillance, interrogation and we will be back to our pre-Sept. 11 attitude of defense.” He forgot to say that the Democrats are trying to put an end to an unwinnable war, save the lives of American troops, and are attempt to preserve our civil rights. Crucify them!

“The Democrats do not understand the full nature and scope of the terrorist war against us,” Giuliani said. “I understand it because I removed all those homeless people trying to wash your window shields from the streets of New York. Talk about terrorism.”

Giuliani closed with a statement punctuated with exclamation points. Powerful. “This war ends when they stop coming here to kill us! Never, ever again will this country ever be on defense waiting for [terrorists] to attack us if I have anything to say about it. And make no mistake, the Democrats want to put us back on defense!”

Sen. Barack Bin Laden Obama responded angrily to Giuliani’s (verbal not terrorist) attacks. “Rudy Giuliani today has taken the politics of fear to a new low and I believe Americans are ready to reject those kind of politics. The threat we face is real, and deserves better than to be the punch line of another political attack.”

Speaking of punch lines, a thrice-married man, a Mormon, an octogenarian, and a ‘Law & Order’ actor walk into a convention…