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Monday
Jan 8
09:01am by Pink Lady; General

Congress Avenue is closed this morning due to dead birds mysteriously dropping from the sky near the Capitol. Investigators discovered that all of the birds had pledged their support to Jim Pitts for Speaker the night before.

The Capitol Press Corps descended on the Austin Club Sunday night, looking for a story or at least a free drink ticket. Depending on who you ask, around 70 Craddick supporters gathered there to reaffirm their support for the Speaker before heading to Mother Egan’s to quietly pledge their support for Pitts. An anonymous videographer, who Craddick referred to as ‘Macaca,’ attempted to catch everyone on tape, including the few, the brave, who tried to slip past the press gauntlet unscathed.

The Craddick team was collecting pledge cards that read, “I am committed to voting for Speaker Tom Craddick for Speaker, and I am also committed to supporting a public, recorded vote for the speaker elections.” Members were forced to sign their pledges in blood, while promising their firstborn sons to Craddick if they defected. (Note: Sen. Eddie Lucio already did that.)

Over the weekend, three Democrats - Rep. Chuck Hopson, Rep. Armando Martinez and Rep. Richard Raymond - announced that they would be supporting Pitts after the controversial proposal by Craddick allies for a roll call vote, where members have to stand up, state their name, the number of members they’ve slept with, and who they’re voting for. Now, I would consider Raymond quite the opportunist, so this may be saying something. Also supporting Pitts are Republicans (OMG! ILMSRINOS! LOL!) Charlie Geren and Ed Kuempel.

Hey, NOITALL. Can we call this a Speaker’s Race yet?



Comments
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1. treehugger
posted January 8th, 2007 at 9:21 am

Hot damn! Austin’s made the Drudge report and its for the birds. Looks like the count (is it dozens, a dozen?) is about as firm as Craddick’s support.

2. poindexter
posted January 8th, 2007 at 9:54 am

Think Craddick and his minions killed those birds just for giggles?

3. hyped on coffee
posted January 8th, 2007 at 10:04 am

Re: 2. poindexter

Craddick “If I can’t live at the Capitol, nobody will, not even the birds.” It is taking attention away from the race.

4. dogooders
posted January 8th, 2007 at 11:06 am

What: Protesters Ask Craddick to Come Clean
When: Monday, January 8, 2006 (3:00 PM)
Where: Caswell Lofts 2205 N. Lamar (23rd & Lamar)

5. ReddyIceIsNice
posted January 8th, 2007 at 11:07 am

Well, now they are reporting finding sparrows among the grackles….the religious fanatics should be out soon claiming the end of the world…and Craddick’s demise.

6. treehugger
posted January 8th, 2007 at 11:26 am

One person’s health scare is another person’s bird shit control method.

We gots us some bad seed. Where’s the Shroat report?

7. treehugger
posted January 8th, 2007 at 11:26 am

Re: 6. treehugger

Pardon me…shoulda been bird sh*it.

8. Chilicook
posted January 8th, 2007 at 1:06 pm

Have we confirmed Dick Cheney’s not confused about the start of dove season and hunting from atop the Stephen F. Austin veranda? Austin lawyers take cover—you could end up sprayed with birdshot.

9. scratchcracker
posted January 8th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
http://www.myspace.com/crackerwhoscratches

quick, someone take away some more of my RIGHTS! I’m scared!!!! AAAAGGGGHGHHHHHHHh. ..somebody submit a bill for $5 billion more for homeland security projects and let’s add to the patriot act!!!!!!! FAST before the BIRDS GET US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wiretap the phones, read my mail, ANYTHING!!!!!!

10. NOITALL
posted January 8th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
http://www.politicalhottubparty.blogspot.com

Hey, PL!. No you may not.

11. lush
posted January 8th, 2007 at 1:53 pm

I swear–first day of my new gig downtown and birds are falling out of the sky–it’s enough to give a girl a complex.

/at least I’ve confirmed I can still access ITPT for all the latest and greatest news

12. Pink Lady
posted January 8th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
http://www.inthepinktexas.com

Re: 10. NOITALL

Come on.

13. Boddhisattva
posted January 8th, 2007 at 4:23 pm

Re: 4. dogooders

Caswell Lofts? What’s up with running the media all over the place like that? Couldn’t you even got a park bench on the Capitol grounds?

14. Tomorrow is a big day at Common Sense

[…] If I had to guess, though, I’d say Craddick probably has the votes. Maybe up until the last three days, he was bluffing, but he has managed to strong-arm his way to 76. That’s just a wild guess; no less speculative than Burka, really. Or guessing that birds are dropping out of the sky because the Apocalypse is nigh or that aliens visited O’Hare last week, but left so suddenly because the flights at United’s gate at O’Hare are always delayed and they didn’t want to circle the runway for two hours waiting for air traffic control to let them land. Just idle speculation. […]

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