Sep 1
Last night I ran into Juan Garcia, the Democrat running against septugenarian Rep. Gene Semen. It’s so funny that I just happen to be in the same places as politicos! I mean, what are the odds? I mean, who knew that stalking candidates would actually pay off?
Garcia looks about as Hispanic as I do. I’m pretty sure his actual name is John Smith but, hey, he is running in Corpus. Garcia is a practicing attorney and formal naval aviator who served in the Persian Gulf. He graduated from UCLA with a poly sci degree but he told me that he started out in the journalism school. I told him that I have a master’s in journalism. ANOTHER COINCIDENCE. He said, and now you’re blogging? Your family must be proud.
Come on. Like they know. They think I’m an anchor at KXAN.
I hear Semen has gotten himself into a sticky situation but I have to verify my sources before I write about it. And by ‘verify sources,’ I mean, ‘make up a story.’ Gene Semen has attempted to smear Garcia’s military record by spitting out baseless accusations and expecting voters to swallow them.
Whatever. The man’s 76. At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s shooting blanks.
The trackback URL is here.
http://www.blackchoppercaucus.com
Shooting blanks? I mean jizz Louise, I’m certain he can’t even get his artillery pointed in the right direction.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
This is all going to blow up in his face.
/what’d she say?
Oh cum now, don’t you think you’re being a bit premature?
/that spoon, that spoon, that spoonful
This thread is destined for The Gutter of Greatness.
As if he didn’t hear those tasteless jokes, in like, JR HIGH!
So, if he had Hodgkin’s would it be semantics?
I always loved it when ol’ Gene couldn’t be located for a vote, so the call went out from the Speaker’s desk. “Semen. Semen on the floor.”
/It’s the House. Of course there is.
“I’m pretty sure his actual name is John Smith”
/no relation?
I’m confused. Why is Juan wearing a suit? Where’s his hat? Where’s his burro? Is that a coffee bush behind him?
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
It takes balls to run against Semen.
/what?!
Re: 9. Pink Lady
Yer nuts! That guy’s a dick. In November, he’s going down!
great headline! I’m shocked there are 50 or so comments to this post….
that should have been aren’t
/i need a drink
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 11. lush
I know. I can’t believe people can’t see how impotent this post is.
Re: 13. Pink Lady
I had thought of something great to say, but I couldn’t get it up in time and it slipped my mind.
/this has never happened to me before, really
Re: 13. Pink Lady
Perhaps, to quote Bill Hicks, they need to “Squeegee their third eye”
/or the eye on their second head?
//what?
Juan Garcia is the John Smith of Hispanic names.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
This whole story leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Re: 17. Pink Lady
I hope you didn’t swallow
http://www.liquiddaddy.blogspot.com
He may be shooting blanks but I hear he is making quite a spash.
And he is a good swimmer.
At least his parents didn’t name him Les
Les Garcia? That isn’t very funny.