Jul 18
There’s an article in today’s Washington Post profiling Kinky Friedman (nice one, Laura). It’s not news, of course, it’s part of the ‘Style’ section, where you can also find horoscopes (yes, I’m a Taurus), dating advice and the TV column. It’s entitled ‘But Seriously, Folks. Have you heard the one about Kinky Friedman running for Texas Governor?’ Which leads me to believe that, once again, the national press is laughing at Texas. I don’t really take offense to this since “today, if a conversation turns to a topic you don’t enjoy or a person makes a comment you don’t agree with, don’t change the subject or walk away.” It’s in the stars.
Kinky kicks off the interview by telling the reporter what his old pal Willie Nelson once told him: “No pedophile jokes till after the election.” Huh. Why not Kinky? Maybe that’s why. Yes, I know he’s a ‘humorist.’ Yes, I appreciate his quippy one-liners, mostly created by his staff. But we’ve already had a joke of a governor for far too long. Are we really ready for another one?
I guess I don’t get Kinky. (Yes, it’s because I’m married.) He talks about clamping down on illegal immigration while smoking a big fat Cuban. He supports gay marriage, saying “they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.” Wow. I’ve never heard that one before. GET A NEW JOKE. CALLING ALL STAFFERS.
At a speech in Fort Worth, Kinky memorabilia was everywhere, including a Kinky doll spewing out Kinky phrases: “How hard can it be?” and “I can’t screw things up any worse than they already have.” Governor Perry has his own doll. It’s called Ken.
When Chris Bell finally gets a mention in the article, he’s referred to as “What’s-his-name, the Democrat.” Well, that’s better than his old nickname: “What’s-his name, the loser.” Did you hear the one about the Chris Bell fundraiser last night at Mother Egan’s? When I did the obligatory drive-by, I saw Jason Stanford. And Chris Bell. And the entire staff of Burnt Orange Report.
According to John McCall, a hair-care products bigwig, “Kinky’s gonna win. I have a business that deals with hairdressers. People talk to their hairdressers. And what I’m hearing is: Kinky’s gonna win in a landslide.” People also lie to their hairdressers, just like hairdressers lie to their clients when they tell them that a perm would look good.
Does Kinky really have a chance? A man who says he quit doing cocaine when Bob Marley fell out of his left nostril? If you think he’s funny now, just wait until he’s governor. And then we’ll see who’s laughing.
The trackback URL is here.
Kinky Friedman looks EXACTLY like my Uncle Doyle from Oklahoma City. He dresses like him too and it totally freaks me out and gives me the creeps. That pic is escpecially scary because that’s how my Uncle drinks his beer/whisky as well.
I will tell you that Uncle Doyle has on several occasions mis-used firearms at the hunting lodge. He accidentally shot his frigidaire on one hunting trip. On a separate hunting trip he “accidentally” shot (grazed) his buddy’s leg during a particularly rowdy game of Texas Hold ‘Em.
Is this the kind of man we want for Governor? Yeah, me too.
“…Bob Marley fell out of his left nostril…”
Hadn’t heard that one before, and it did make me laugh. Boomers and their cocaine. Good times.
People do lie to their hairdressersr. When the person cutting my hair begins an attempt at forced conversation with the obligatory, “So what do you do?”, I’ve started telling them that I’m a writer.
http://www.burntorangereport.com
“And the entire staff of Burnt Orange Report.”
No, just KT and me. Half of our staff live in caves, and only appear with about 5 or 6 posts a year. Just like your staff, I guess (I’m looking at you, Fled).
/so not buying PL a drink at the next party…
I tell mine I’m Chris “Kinky Grandma” Bell and I’m running for Governor.
Can we just get a normal guy? No need for the way over-the-top humor, the cigar smoking, and the cowboy hat. We get it, you’ve branded yourself as a rogue cowboy from Texas and your staffers can be funny. Where are the normal high-achiever guys who don’t need a high-profile eccentric public lifestyle, just care about taking care of people, helping the little guy stand on his own, and making our state better? Oh, they never existed? Hmmm… ok, Kinky will work.
After reading the article, I am hoping they will take some campaign money and buy the guy a few new shirts. pee-yew!
obviously, he is practicing his lobby whoring skills & the next pink party. Can’t we have a Labor day campaign kick off pink party too?
We should take Chris Bell seriously because he is not funny?
I think it’s entirely possible we’re going to be very surprised by the election results. Here in R-land, I’m hearing it from everyone but the most devout party supporters. And I’m talking the wingnut faction, too, in addition to disaffected moderate R’s. I’m just sayin’ … it’s going to be interesting. If he can get out traditional non-voters, watch out. As for his qualifications … seriously? How in the hell could we do any worse? Kinky may have no experience, but I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. Besides, an elected official’s value is his staff. Kinky’s got a terrific staff and I’m betting would put together one amazing team. So there.
/Going to the website for a doll!
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 9. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
Terrific staff, sure. Terrific candidate, no. How in the hell could we do any worse? Not the right question. How can we do better?
you know what his biggest problem is?
he plays slots.
/calls himself a Jew.
Re: 10. Pink Lady
so you’re saying you’ll vote for strayhorn because she has a terrific staff AND is a terrific candidate?
that’s cute.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 12. laura
I haven’t decided who I’m voting for. I’m still considering a write-in.
Is Gary Coleman running? Now that’s cute.
/ Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, PL?
Re: 10. Pink Lady
True. We could do better by electing Bell. But (sorry KT, Phillip, et al.) it’s not going to happen.
Montford for governor. (That’s me ducking.)
Re: 10. Pink Lady
Agreed 110%. Bout time we ask for a wee bit more from our candidates than “Hmm, he couldn’t possibly be as retarded as the guy we’ve got now, what a miniature step up. We’ll take it.” Whatever happened to “The best guy for the job?” Too quaint?
Write-in for Peter Weller (Robocop, 24). Dude handled himself well on 24. Might even look chiefly with a cowboy hat + cigar…
Let’s just write in Charles Durning. Actor seems to be an ok resume qualification for governor, as opposed to author/songwriter. Also, he has experience as Pappy O’Daniel in Oh Brother.. plus his role in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
Ooo, I like to do a little sidestep….
Re: 18. treehugger
Peter Weller would destroy them. Literally.
Re: 9. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
Sure and let’s ask Minnesota how well Jesse “The Bod” Ventura worked for them.
Everyone (that I know who’s Jewish, anyway) has a story about spending time with Kinky. One friend had him over for his family’s Passover — during which Kinky never took his trademark cigar out of his mouth.
Re: 8. SlowDownCowboy
You see, that’s where you’re wrong. Chris is hilarious and yes, he’s a hell of a lot funnier than Kinky.
Kinky Friedman: The only thing wrong with Southern Baptists is that they don’t hold ‘em under long enough.
Chris Bell: murfle, squib, DeLay BOO…[insert BOR laughtrack].
Re: 22. Marie
Now THAT is cute.
Is your real name “Alison”?
Re: 20. Lovecow2000
No comparison. Kinky can actually read AND write.
By the way … I haven’t said who I’m voting for, either. I really do like those BOR boys. But I don’t think the Friedman campaign or the candidate should be dismissed.
Re: 24. Anonymous
You just don’t know Chris otherwise you’d be singing a different tune. The campaign trail isn’t the place to rehash one-liners, and there is a time & place for the jokes.
I’d advise people to get over themselves and actually listen to what Chris has to say.
Re: 12. laura
Yeah, but Strayhorn’s teriffic campaign staff all happen to be working undercover as state employees over at the Comptroller’s office.
Re: 9. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
R-Land? I thought you lived in that city with the lesbian controller?
Re: 29. FledTheAsylum
Yeah, but I hang around during work hours with a bunch of suburban R-types. And I listen to that “radio station,” to hear what the wingnuts are up to. (In small doses — you can only stand the same rant repeated maybe 5 times before you want to commit hari-kari.)
Guys, this is Texas. Get used to it already.
Re: 5. BlackIsTheNewPink
Politics is show-business for ugly people.
Re: 9. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
Ahem, Talking Action Figure, please
Re: 27. Marie
I would advise people to listen to what Kinky actually has to say, the only thing that the MSM prints are the one liners and wisecracks not the other 15 minutes of substantive ideas for change and Kinky’s vision for a better texas.
/The blogs are not much better as they seem to just rehash what the MSM reports without doing any actual reporting or coverage themselves.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 34. Lefty
I resent that! Like spying on Patrick Rose at the gym isn’t real reporting.
/if you’re going to use the backslash, you should know that you’re only supposed to put a few clever words after it
Re: 27. Marie
How do you assume I don’t know him?
I do. And I don’t argue he’s a nice person with a healthy sense of humor and some brains. Maybe even the smartest of all the candidates. He certainly knows policy and he’s very attention-to-detail oriented. And he does seem to care. It’s unfortunate for most of the readers of ITPT, but he’ll be the one coming in 4th this November. Not Kinky or Grandma.
Re: 30. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
/closet Dan Patrick-lover
As a member of congress Bell had a chance to show what a good progressive democrat he is and didn’t do it.
BELL VOTED TO ALLOW DRILLING IN THE ARCTIC NATIONAL WILDLIFE REFUGE.
League of Conservation Voters, National Environmental Scoreboard, 2003, p.28 and following. Congressional Record, 4/11/2003, Roll Call 145
BELL ENDORSED THE BUSH TAX CUTS THAT GAVE HUGE TAX BREAKS TO THE WEALTHIEST 1% OF AMERICANS-AND CAUSED THE BIGGEST BUDGET DEFICIT IN OUR HISTORY.
Houston Chronicle 9/13/2002
BELL VOTED FOR THE BUSH-CHENEY ENERGY PLAN.
The Sierra Club called it “one of the worst disasters for the environment and public health in recent years.”
League of Conservation Voters Scorecard, 2003, p 28 and following
BELL VOTED AGAINST FELLOW DEMOCRATS AND JOINED REPUBLICANS TO PASS AN INFAMOUS “BANKRUPTCY BILL” WRITTEN BY BANKS AND CREDIT CARD COMPANIES.
Congressional Record, March 19, 2003; Roll Call Votes 72 and 74
BELL VOTED TO WEAKEN CLEAN WATER LAWS.by granting special exemptions to oil and gas companies.
League of Conservation Voters Scorecard, 2003, p 28 and following.
and now he wants to talk about unity in the democratic party and how he needs all the democrats to unite and vote for him when he did not vote as democrat would when he had a chance in Congress.
What a hypocrite.
/voting for every democrat but Chris Bell.
//info cribbed from Gammage for Gov.
Re: 33. Lefty
she can call it a Barbie as long as she’s paying for it.
Re: 38. Anonymous
…and you’re recommending that Democrats should remain divided because Bell doesn’t pass your DINO test?
Re: 37. Laura
Gross.
Re: 40. FledTheAsylum
I’m saying Bell is being duplicitous and that being the Democratic candidate is not always reason enough to vote for someone.
Re: 34. Lefty
So why don’t the people who work for Kinky fight to get his beliefs and thoughts into the MSM? A little damage control goes a long way to preventing people from seeing someone as a cowboy with a cigar and more like a guy who has a heart and a brain.
Re: 43. BlackIsTheNewPink
his press secretary sucks.
Re: 44. laura
She should be publicly flogged.
Re: 45. BlackIsTheNewPink
Or he… I’m just in a woman-hating mood right now.
Re: 46. BlackIsTheNewPink
Like you’re not really into flogging. Admit it.
Re: 47. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
I’ll only admit to such things after a thorough and public flogging gets me to.
Re: 42. Anonymous
Being a Democrat?
Sorry, but the Democratic platform is no more mine than the Republican platform is every Republican’s theirs.
Sooner or later, Texans willt decide what is more important. Whether they want, “I’ll spend anything and everything to get your vote” (Bell); Government getting into your private life (abortion, stem cell, gays, etc., Perry?), cutting every tax in sight (Perry and “one Horney Grand Ma”) and as a result cutting services and education across the State, or, a populist, fisical conservative, balanced approach to living within your means and providing for our citizens (the Kinkster?).
Re: 35. Pink Lady
If you’re going to use a slash, you shouldn’t call it a backslash.
/I’m just sayin’.
Have you guys seen Chris Bell’s new commercial yet? It’s posted on BOR and Bell’s web site. I’m definitely NOT advocating that you go look at it…you’d be better off renting Godzilla…seriously, the ad begins with a GIANT Chris Bell with his arm around that falic Sam Houston statute on I-45…because, you know, in Texas, we THINK BIG…oh and because we like taking MOON SHOTS, whatever the hell that is. It is seriously one of the worst political ads I have ever seen. I don’t know how much money Bell blew on that ad, but he’d have been better off blowing something else to get a few votes.
Re: 51. CaseyTheLawStudent
oh, snap.
Re: 51. CaseyTheLawStudent
Sam Houston … that part kinda cracked me up … Bell standing next to our state’s last independent governor ….
Nice.
/Moon shot: Greater than a long shot. As in, “Bell is a moon shot candidate.”
//Yeah, that was more than a few words.
///Bite me.
Re: 53. laura
I think the consensus is that you should be flogged not bitten.
If there is flogging, Gardner Selby should be among those flogged. Hell, throw in Jason Embry because he seems to be on vacation. And bring sandwiches…
/Naishtat will so be there for the sandwiches.
grandma was a driving force behind screwing up Austin.
Screw her.
Rick should go back to doing cheers and whatever aggie boys do……..
beyond that……
who’s gonna be Lt guv…….
Re: 5. BlackIsTheNewPink
Re: 51. CaseyTheLawStudent
Maybe a little trite, but I think the worst part of that ad - and let me be clear, it is generally bad - but the worst part is that his voice doesn’t sound like he’s from any part of Texas.
For someone who’s name ID is so low, I would have gone with a narrator for an introductory ad.
Oh, and he looks like a kid when he’s sitting on top of the east wing of the Capitol.
Re: 51. CaseyTheLawStudent
Haha. Bell’s Big On Texas. How ’bout you?
Re: 55. SlowDownCowboy
Oh man, Naishtat is *totally* about the snack. I love seeing him hunched over a snack tray eating some carrots and dip.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 60. BKOTR
He once took a bagel out of my hand.
Re: 58. FledTheAsylum
You’re so very right. He should have used the voice over from the guy that does the Whataburger commercials…”You’ve just been out-whataburgered.” At least that sort of humor would have been in line with the odd humor of the commercial. As it was, Chris was trying to be cute and serious and funny and giant and humbled all at the same time. Total disaster.
Chris, if you’re reading, hire Murphy-Putnam Media right NOW. I mean RIGHT NOW. Because I think you must be using someone like Paul Stekler to direct the current nonsense.
Oh, don’t you be dissin’ on Stekler. He’s done good work that most people wouldn’t have done and for less money than he’s worth.
I’m not sure why.
But that’s not my point.
Re: 62. CaseyTheLawStudent
By the way, I’ll probably be voting for Chris, so if any Bell-ringers who read ITPT want to give me money for the “consulting” I’ll do in the comments section for free, PL knows how to get in touch with me.
Re: 64. FledTheAsylum
Yea, me too.
Hey FTA, wanna start a political consulting group? FledTheLaw Media, LLC.
Re: 64. FledTheAsylum
money is the root of all evil.
for more information send $9.95
http://northtexasliberal.blogspot.com
Oprah for Governor! Well, she’s not a Texan, but I heard that she came to Denton County a few years ago to look at property.