Jun 19
Katherine Jefferts Schori was named presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church on Sunday, making her the first woman ever to hold that title. Following the announcement, God instantly blurred the women at the convention into oblivion. I haven’t been this incensed since the church’s 2003 convention, when they allowed Gene Robinson, an openly gay member of the clergy, to become bishop of New Hampshire. One of Robinson’s first actions as bishop was to change the state’s motto to ‘Live Chic or Cry.’
The Episcopal (or ‘Catholic-lite’) Church first ordained women in the mid-70’s, right around the same time that the Catholic Church upgraded masturbation to mortal sin status. Since Episcopal dioceses enjoy relative autonomy, they are allowed to make their own decisions concerning ordination of women. Three dioceses which do not allow female ordination include Quincy, IL; San Joaquin, CA; and… Fort Worth. Now, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m not about to say anything bad about Fort Worth. Except I had no idea there were any Episcopalians living there. I thought the Church of Christ had run them out of town, along with that gay couple.
Before being ordained by the church, Bishop Schori was an oceanographer. That’s better than what Bishop Robinson was: an interior decorator. Relations between the Episcopal Church and the Vatican have been strained in recent years, and this latest stain on all things holy is not expected to be well-received by Pope Benedict XVI, nee Ratzinger. But then, very few things are well-received by the Pope, aside from his red papal outdoor cloak.
The trackback URL is here.
What’s the church’s take on rubbing one out for barren women’s sake, still a mortal sin? Has TJ been contacted about his impending stay in Hell?
Re: 1. BlackIsTheNewPink
Definitely sinful. The Church demands that all of your 8 million children be conceived naturally. No IVF for good Catholics. TJ’s gonna burn.
http://gc.fwepiscopal.org/statement.html
Check out the link above for the Bishop of FW’s take on her election as presiding bishop. Dude goes on and on about problems with primates. . . . I thought we were talking about bishops here.
In the future, virtually all spiritual beliefs will resemble Zen or Taoism; a celebration of the religious mystical state within all human brains. Or, for those without time and chemicals, nothing at all; “no hell below us, above us only sky”.
(The only exception will be the substantial cult of Shroatists, people who claim a family relationship and who practice Shroatism, a primitive form of ancestor worship.)
Everyone else will experience God Without Religion. There will be no Priests, Ordinations or other religious hierarchies.
I know this is true. God sent me a memo in a holy envelope.
Testing … testing … test comment here. If you go up and click on the banner to refresh the page, you get PL’s new post, but no way to reach the comments. So I hit the back button. Let’s see if this works …
Looks like the Bishop & Elizabeth Ames Jones have something in common.
Re: 4. DCat the Bureaucrat
/true dat.
Re: 4. DCat the Bureaucrat
Shroatism will be more of a social and cultural movement, with some religiosity, though hardly primitive.
My manifesto/sacred scripture is a work in progress. When I publish it on this very blog in the not too distant future, it will rock the world.
WWSD? You’ll find out. Some of you, anyway.
Re: 8. Shriz-noat
WWSD? Like we don’t already know. Who do you think you’re blogging to?
Re: 2. sadstaffer
Indeed. Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm gets wasted, God gets quite irate.
Re: 8. Shriz-noat
I’m still waiting for part III of A Shriz-mas Carol.
Re: 10. lurkette
“and from now on, kent, stop playing with yourself”
“it *is* god”