May 24
Ever wonder why Meg Ryan and Nicole Kidman never get depressed? Two words. Bo. Tox.
For those of you tired of taking Cymbalta (because depression hurts) and wasting your time in group therapy (to feel better about yourself when surrounded by total losers), it looks like injecting muscle-paralyzing toxins into your forehead just might do the trick.
Apparently frowning makes you sad. And ugly. Smiling like a jackass can make you happy but it will probably piss off everyone around you. Dr. Eric Finzi is the lead author of the Botox study, as well as a cosmetic surgeon and a walking conflict of interest. He found that by injecting Botox into frown lines around the mouth or forehead eliminated depressive symptoms in nine out of 10 women. The 10th woman jumped out of a window, but at least she looked good while doing it.
The idea behind Botox’s antidepressant properties is that facial muscles transmit information to the brain’s emotional centers and corresponding chemicals. There’s also the ‘facial feedback hypothesis,’ which means that your facial expressions trigger a social feedback loop. If you’re happy and laughing, people want to be around you. If you’re miserable and crying, or doing the ‘blogger scowl,’ people don’t want to be around you. Unless you’re really hot, and then they don’t care either way.
It beats the old-fashioned Irish way of treating depression - drinking until you pass out. I kid. Nothing beats that.
The trackback URL is here.
http://www.blackchoppercaucus.com
This post had me at “blogger scowl.”
Head lobbyist for and biggest proponent of facial botox and killer hand-buzzers:
http://www.canmag.com/images/front/batman/joker.jpg
Who eerily kinda looks like Roy Blunt:
http://xtramsn.co.nz/homepage2/imageView/0,,4830855,00.jpeg
Is it wrong to call all alcoholic drinks “Pain go bye-bye juice?”
/apologies to patton oswalt
There’s a reason Meg Ryan’s acting career fell off a cliff after the 90s. She looks like the Joker and makes children cry. Advantage: Dennis Quaid.
Psychologists, with nothing better to do, found that if you hold a pencil with your teeth, you are forced to smile and that can improve your mood; however, if you hold a pencil with your lips, you are forced to frown and that can depress your mood.
They didn’t mention if this works for other objects besides pencils.
Well, then. That explains why I have such a good time every time I go up to the Capitol. It’s all that smiling and saying “Yes, Senator.” “Absolutely, Representative.” It’s just so, so … mood elevating!
Re: 5. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
I thought it was all the free alcohol and cheap, tawdry sex.
Certainly free alcohol and cheap, tawdry sex are mood elevating … but that’s in and around the capital city, not in the Capitol itself.
Re: 7. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
Speak for yourself!
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
After-noonie delight.
Meg Ryan went from that celebrity guys liked despite being relatively flat-chested to that celebrity guys like just b/c she must be desparate for some action.
Re: 8. Noonie
Noonie, never, never have sex in the Capitol. Sex should be a wonderful experience, not contaminated by that particular pink edifice.
But by all means go for all the free alcohol you can.
Re: 3. Shriz-noat
No. Dennis Quaid definitely loses for saying he has “manrexia” instead of anorexia. Nothing could be stupider than that.
He stole my date one night. That was major league stupid. I’m still pissed.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
I will never forgive Dennis Quaid for being such a jackass in Everybody’s All American.
Re: 14. Pink Lady
I will never forgive him for renting out the entire Club de Ville for his stupid band and forcing us to have to go drink down the street.
And Meg Ryan is getting to be Melanie Griffith scary. Someone just tell them to stop.
Re: 16. Pinkie Swear
yes, but at least she’ll never be melanie griffith stupid.
/half the battle
Nothing, and I mean nothing,
beats the old-fashioned Irish way of treating depression - drinking until you pass out.
-Its a Doctor in a Bottle-
gives you time to sor, even better, not thinkin’ about it.
-If that doesn’t wotk, them Dr, $$$$$ is DEFINITELY never gonna help anyway, except well duhhhhhh!