Apr 24
But it left all the p*ssies…
So curiosity got the best of me and when I returned home from the gym this evening (how do you think I get this six-pack), I flipped on the Travis County Access channel to watch the House in action as they debated HB 3. They just passed Amendment 33 (something about immigration) by Rep. Rafael Anchia. Rep. Jim Dunnam was at the back mic with a parliamentary inquiry about lobbyists trolling the back halls where they don’t belong. He was told that his inquiry would be considered, which means that Speaker Craddick was busy in the back halls taking favors from lobbyists.
Ohhh look! It’s Rep. Patrick Rose! I believe he’s legal now but he still looks like he should be speaking at some college Young Democrats- turned-basically-Republican-because-I’m-in-a-conservative-district meeting. (Oh yeah, THOSE.) Rep. Dan Gattis just said ‘back door’ which makes me laugh because yes I AM THAT IMMATURE.
I’ll keep live blogging after the jump until Law & Order comes on and then perhaps I will live blog that.
HATE it when they do this. They cut off the sound. Rep. Glenn Hegar (who is filling in for Craddick while he gets his ass scratched in the back hall) was asked by Dunnam once again about whether non-members could lobby members in the back hall. As usual, Hegar looked like a deer caught in headlights. Dude. If you know NOTHING about House rules, WHY are you playing Speaker, punk?
What a fun reunion - I’m seeing all the oldies but goodies. There’s Rep. Craig Eiland, dressed in his zoot suit, awaiting a riot. You know what I think would make this a whole lot more interesting to watch? Musicals. Put this show to music. I’m thinking Andrew Lloyd Webber, maybe ‘Jesus Christ Superstar.’ Rep. Geanie Morrison could sing the ballad ‘I Don’t Know How to Love Him’ to Craddick and I guarantee… not a dry eye on the floor.
Rep. Warren Chisum’s at the back mic, although I can hardly see him. I think he’s lost a good inch since last session. Well, it’s easier to ignore him that way.
I figured it was time to figure out what HB 3 is. It’s the franchise tax bill by Rep. Vilma Luna and some guy named Otto. I believe it contains pay raises for teachers. I kid. Looks like a lot of legislators have changed their hairstyles since the last session. Bad. Idea. This is almost as exciting as The Apprentice. I’m going to have to channel surf.
10PM. I’m back, but only because Pro-Wrestling is ruining my Law & Order: SVU marathon. HB 3 is on second reading which I can only assume means it has been read two times. (Hey - I wasn’t an Appropriations analyst for nothing.) Rep. Paul Moreno is speaking about manana - I looked it up in my Spanish dictionary - it means ‘tomorrow.’ He’s asking his fellow members to vote no. That’s ‘no’ in Spanish.
Bill sponsor Luna is speaking but all I can see is green. How am I supposed to listen to her when she looks like a human lime? What is with that suit? “This is a more equitable tax and it is more efficient than any other business tax… there is no sales tax…” I’m waiting for her to rip off her mask a la Scooby Doo and OH MY GOD IT’S BEEN CRADDICK ALL ALONG!
Rep. Yvonne Davis is speaking against the bill. “Take a good look at the entire tax system - we want to have a fair and equitable tax system. We know this tax bill is selective, not comprehensive. I too am concerned that with all the talk about education, this bill has nothing to do with education.” Wait a minute. Now she’s just trying to confuse us. Edu-what?
Rep. Bill Keffer says that he has “awkward but necessary” comments on the bill. Dude. Join the club. Apparently Keffer is going to represent his district as opposed to representing Perry and Craddick. It’s a novel idea, and probably won’t work, but kudos to him. He’s voting against HB 3. His brother is Jim Keffer, who is voting for HB 3. I knew this bill would come down to this: Brother against Brother.
Keffer (Bill): “We’re being asked to pass a new business tax - a permanent business tax. Property tax relief will be temporary… The rate being proposed under new business tax at 1% - we’re expected to take this on faith… The rate needs to be 3%. We’re here because of a lawsuit that told us we had an unconstitutional property tax we needed to fix… This is a new tax. That should give us pause. Any time you create a new tax for government, you create a new tax for growing government - you should be very concerned about turning on a faucet for brand new revenue. When legislators don’t pay attention, we lose freedom and government increases… We have a surplus of fairly significant size, at $8.2 billion. This is doubly frustrating. Surplus ought to mean that we owe something back to taxpayers. I challenge the leadership and the members of the house that when they push that button, the last thing to go through their head is, remember the taxpayer.”
Oh good god. It’s Debbie Riddle. Who let her out? She’s agreeing with Bill Keffer, which could only hurt his position. Now it’s Rep. Garnet Coleman’s turn. Coleman gets a bad rap but so would you if you were the smartest guy in the room. “My constituents sent me here to take care of the schoolchildren of Texas and do a tax cut. The reality is we’re coming here and raising taxes and doing nothing for the schoolchildren.”
Speaker Pro Tem Sylvester Turner is next. Kids, there’s a reason he’s a preacher. And I mean that in the best way. “I want schools to be funded, I want a teacher pay raise, I told the governor if you add more to this bill, I could be with it. I want to keep my promise to the people in the state of Texas… we have violated that trust. I cannot vote for this bill. If you don’t do it right coming out the gate, there’s no reason for me to believe that when it comes back, it’ll be any better. People in my district are saying they want their kids to be educated. I will not vote for another tax until the commitment is made up front, not at the back door.” (applause - lovin’ it)
Jim Keffer says it’s not a tax bill, it’s a tax swap. [Cough] [Hack] How can you say these things with a straight face? He says that HB 3 gives people a reason to get up in the morning. Does this bill provide free coffee? Because if it doesn’t, it doesn’t give people a reason to get up in the morning. Jim also says he loves his brother Bill. You could see the tears in my eyes if there were tears.
Annnnnndddddd, here’s the tally. 80 ayes, 69 nays. I hope that permanent business tax keeps you warm at night.
The trackback URL is here.
http://commonsenstx.com
I applaud your ability to sit through this. I’m watching baseball instead.
It’s very likely that Rep. Hegar will be the new Senator for District 18 when Armbrister leaves—and I don’t think he’s even got an opponent. Think he looks like a deer in the headlights now, just wait.
Rep. Gratia-Hupp has changed her hair (no more wings ala Farrah), perhaps in response to the poll that named her Worst Dressed during last Session. She still needs to stay away from those (grandmother’s draperies)flowery prints. This commentary is provided because I can’t even begin to understand HB3, and have begun to not care that I don’t understand it.
Sorry I have missing. I’ve had to work six full days in a row, and I’m beat.
We have a decent vote count, and it looks like 71 ayes, 67 nays.
Two more groups just came in (and they are on different sides). Looks like 67 ayes and 64 nayes.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
I am so lost.
/DONTNOITALL
What do I have to say about the vote? Brad Lidge gave up a grand slam to Nomar Garciaparra Hamm.
/Damn it.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Hey - look who it is! You owe me a cosmopolitan.
Only 6 days in a row??? I think I am on my 102nd straight day. Quit being a p*ssy!
68 yeses and 65 nos with 3 PNVs.
And UT-Guy: I have a mellow metabolism.
Sly is a no and Smithee is a yes. Still 68-65.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
You’re lucky I didn’t use your odds to place any bets.
The Clippers are up 56 to 34 at the half. Much more exciting than watching a bunch of conservative white guys pretenting they are doing what is good for the state.
PL–I’m waiting on all the phone numbers or email addresses of your single female friends. C’mon–I brought roses to the party. Don;t your ffriends wanna guy who will bring them roses?
i have been watching a rerun of “Becker” for the past 15 minutes.
/now THAT is rock. bottom.
For the love of God. There are actual attempts at humor whilst discussing HB 5. And visual aids. Please make it stop!
Does anyone really think 149 House members were on the floor and voted?
I think that if there were any real suspicion that they weren’t all on the floor, someone would have called for a verification. but I’ve been known to be wrong
lol
that is all. well not quite. I hate HB 3, because it made me miss the ITPT/PD party last week. At least its the Senate’s problem now. I also was watching baseball for most of the night, but Brad Lidge gave up a grand slam to Garciaparra and the Rangers lost, too :(
Re: 6. Dont Mess w/ Pink
Yeah, so I just get home from being at the capitol all. day. long. I’m tired, I’m exhausted, and whenver I change my mind about what to eat for a crappy, 1 am dinner I’m saying to myself “I’d like to amend that — no, wait, let’s make that an amendment to the amendment.”
And then I see that Lidge blew it in the night. I quit. Seriously.
Yeah, crappy night all around.
/I LOVE amendments to amendments.
//Make that two cosmos, PL.
///Glad you’re back, NOITALL.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Are we really to believe that PL was awake after 10 PM? Who really wrote this?
i think we need to write a letter to lidge. there’s nothing like having to sit through more than 12 hours of floor debate wanting nothing more than to see the ’stros recap only to watch nomar hit a MONSTER grandslam off “the best closer in baseball.” dude. when the bases are juiced, PITCH AROUND.
ugh. what an unceremonious end to a most crappy day.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 12. UT_guy
Are you calling Vilma a conservative white guy?
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Re: 21. TJ Shroat
I was indeed awake after 10PM. I was working on my evening crossword puzzle.
Lidge’s problems are mental. He’s still thinking about the Pujols homerun. He’s fallen in love with his slider and is afraid to throw his fastball. If the slider isn’t working like it was last night, hitters will sit on the fastball. Like Garciaparra-Hamm did last night.
Ummmm–how about a bunch of people acting like conservative white guys?
… in love with sliders?
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/pccranford/sliders.jpg
/worst. show. ever.
Did someone suggest that Lights Out-LIt Up Lidge should have walked in the tying run to avoid giving up the salami???
The suggestion was made on the floor during HB 3 that the enormous cuts of 2003 were “just getting started” down the right path. The path to what, official thirld world status???
And yes, I like using three question marks even though it defies everything I have ever been told about writing.
Re: 27. a little texas zenshine
http://www.brewcitygrill.homestead.com/files/QuickSiteImages/sliders.jpg
I love amendments to amendments AND multiple punctuation marks!!!
He was bouncing the slider at 55 feet, and couldn’t get the fastball over either. It just wasn’t pretty. The Astros’ bullpen has gone from their biggest strength to their biggest weakness. At least Morgan Ensberg is a beast.
Re: 25. JCBT
It is mental, but I also think he’s telegraphing his slider. Hickey needs to get busy now and fix that. I want Lights Out back.
Re: 31. trza
Morgan Ensberg looks like Bob Stoops, and that’s just unforgivable.
Re: 33. JCBT
OH THANKS! I never noticed that, and now won’t be able to forget it.
bob stoops looks like morgan ensberg, and that’s the only nice thing i can say about bob stoops.
check it. last year’s WS teams have the best records in the league (they were tied before last night’s debacle) and both of them are winning by scoring a lot instead of relying on their bullpens.
lidge will be back . . . the middle relief? not so sure.
Ensberg is a LOT better interview than “no question” Stoops.
http://blogs.chron.com/sportsjustice/
Re: 37. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
I think Purpura is in over his head yet I love Taco Cabana’s new pupusas.
Re: 33. JohnCornyn’sBoxTurtle
Ugh. That’s true. Ugh.
http://www.inthepinktexas.com
Why do you guys hate America’s favorite pastime?
I’m so happy this turned into a baseball thread.
/go ’stros!
Re: 38. JohnCornyn’sBoxTurtle
I don’t know … Purpura did a great job with the farm system, and so far so good here. Uncle Drayton is the one who decided not to offer Clemens arbitration. (Please come back, Roger, please, please.) The only thing wrong with this team right now besides Preston Wilson’s batting slump is the bullpen. And it doesn’t seem too serious. Qualls had a few problems last year, too, but ended up having a fantastic season. Lidge is having serious problems, yes, but chances are they can fix them. Overall, it’s a great time to be an Astros fan!
/How ’bout that Taylor Buchholz?
I was in Houston to see Buchholz pitch in his first exhibition game, against the Royals. 7 innings, 4 hits, maybe one run. Great stuff. He’s my guy.
/Lane needs to hit the ball better, too…
//And they need to get at least 1/2 of Baggie’s contract back
Re: 42. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
Clemens’ family didn’t buy season tickets this year, and he’s not been working out like he would if he planned on pitching.
They need a LHP in the bullpen in the worst way. Trever Miller is not the answer unless the question is ‘Who’s the suckiest suck that ever sucked?’ Lefties are hitting .667 against him and .375 against Gallo. Ouch.
Re: 44. JCBT
Well, time will tell, but I think Roger’s gonna pitch. He doesn’t want Maddux overtaking him. But I’m not so sure it’s going to be with the Astros. And yeah, Miller and Gallo. Ouch is right. But Qualls and Wheeler are/going to be OK. As for Lane, I’m not that worried yet. The guy has 19 bases on balls. I’d like to see him hit more, but his on base percentage is fine.
Waving in Gallo from the bullpen = white flag.
And while we’re on the Astros, bring back the Ash to the radio broadcast, please!
ashby got done wrong.
Have you heard the new guy? He sounds eerily like Ashby. It’s comforting in a weird way.
I’ve listened a little, but Milo really grates on me, so I have a tough time listening to them on the radio. Actually, I gotta confess that I’m a Rangers fan first and foremost (unfortunately for me). They are having some major closer issues of their own. Their pitching is a little better this year, but nothing like the Astros.
I disagree on Milo. Anyone who uses “boarding house reach” and “sheleighle” is okay in my book.
Rangers closer Coco Cordero AND Brad Lidge both blow saves again last night. Something ain’t right.