Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you… Ben Bentzin. Possible Republican candidate in the wake of Todd Baxter’s resignation. Definite victim of Saturday Night Fever.

According to the Statesman, the retired Dellionaire is “seriously considering” the race. Just as soon as he gets back from Funkytown.

This wouldn’t be Bentzin’s first campaign. He unsuccessfully tried to unseat Sen. Gonzalo Barrientos in 2002, when he ran an ad about the Senator’s DWI run-in. What he didn’t know is, that actually makes you *more* popular in politics. (Exhibit A, our President. Exhibit B, our VP.)

But I can probably hide it.

Per QR, the Speaker has announced the interim charges for the Texas House. Let me fill you in on “interim charges.” When I was a staffer for the Appropriations Committee, an interim charge meant that subcommittee members would come to town, hold a couple hearings and talk a lot of smack. Then, I would write up “recommendations” on that particular charge for members of the next Legislature. DO YOU THINK THEY EVER READ THE RECOMMENDATIONS? I spent a GOOD 45 MINUTES on those.

Here they are.

Some of my favorites:

“Examine the prevalence of multiple plaintiff trials in tort cases other than those concerning asbestos and silica, and recommend any statutory changes needed to increase judicial efficiency and ensure access to the courts for all plaintiffs.”

Get a whiff of that. Smells like a tort reform roast.

“Examine the prevalence of fraud in Texas elections, considering prosecution rates and measures for prevention.”

Right. Like they really want minorities to vote.

“Analyze the various education agency actions regarding the use of Anabolic Steroids by public school students.”

STEROIDS again?! What’s next, school uniforms?

“Study the potential benefits and dangers of enacting a ‘journalist shield law’ in Texas.”

Right. Like they really want journalists shielded.

“Study the impact of successful school choice programs on students, parents and teachers.”

(cough) Vouchers. (cough)

“Examine alternative business taxes and other methods of finance designed to reduce the state’s reliance on local property taxes to fund public education.”

Second verse, same as the first!

The Valerie Plame investigation has led straight to Cheney’s office, causing some speculation that Vice President Cheney will be forced
to… retire. And who would take his spot but… Condoleezza Rice, fueling rumors that she’ll run for Prez in 2008.

Meanwhile, Cheney remains in good spirits, and has been perfecting his “Tea for Two” tap routine with dance partner Donald Rumsfeld.

Getting to like you, Getting to hope you like me.

In 1989 (when everyone was
preparing to party like it’s 1999), Harriet Miers supported a constitutional amendment which would ban abortions except when necessary to save the mother’s life.

And you said she wasn’t a conservative. (Shame on you.)

Miers answered these and other questions as a candidate for the Dallas City Council on a questionnaire submitted to the Senate Judiciary Committee by the Texans United for Life PAC. THIS is how we select our Supreme Court justices?!

I consider myself to be:
a) Evangelical
b) Conservative
c) Moralistic
d) Holier than Thou
e) All of the above

Sens. Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn are standing by their man woman, saying that Miers would not let political decisions sway her as a judge. Apparently the only ACTIVIST judges are Northeastern liberals trying to legalize group marriages.

Cornyn: “That information is interesting, and some people may draw their own conclusions from it, but I believe that Harriet Miers will be the type of judge who will not attempt to pursue a personal or political agenda from the bench.”

Hmmmm. Some people may draw their own conclusions. Let’s see. She supported a ban on abortion in the past. She’s an evangelical Christian. And the only time she even came close to sexual relations was in a dream involving Nathan Hecht.

First things first… Republicans like Hispanics. That’s why this Hispanic family is featured so prominently on the Republicans of Texas website! Aye, Dios Mio! It’s time to check in with Chairman Tina Benkiser (who goes by “Chairman” in order to avoid looking like a feminazi) on what she thinks about Proposition 2, the marriage amendment. Guess what? Tina “feels like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz!” Who knew that Tina was on benzedrine, amphetamines, and phenobarbital! OH MY!

I feel a little like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz – life has changed, and I want to go home – home where Texans run Texas, where we are free to love God, serve each other, and aren’t afraid to speak our minds.

As usual, God-fearing Christians are being persecuted by… the Republican party, which runs everything, everywhere. If Prop 2 doesn’t go through, Tina warns that we’ll see an outbreak of group marriages.

The plot (or political agenda) begins by promoting homosexual marriage, which will be followed by group marriage, and eventually the abolition of marriage altogether. Unfortunately, this is not the plot of a movie or musical, the danger is real.

But what a great musical it would be! “Thoroughly Modern Marriage.” “Annie, Get Your Grooms.”

Tina repeats the claim that “the average male homosexual has hundreds of sex partners in his lifetime, with many claiming thousands.”

Thousands of sexual partners?! Does Katie Holmes know?

But, in the end, Tina endorses group marriage after all, by asking readers to JOIN HER in saying “I Do” to Prop. 2.

Nobody puts DeLay in a corner.

House Minor Peon Tom DeLay says he was “coerced” by DA Ronnie Earle to plead guilty to a misdemeanor. When DeLay pissed all over that deal, Earle indicted him on a felony. Proving that the art of letter-writing is alive and well in certain circles outside of knitting clubs, DeLay’s attorney Dick DeGuerin wrote about the plea offer in a Dear John to Earle.

“You tried to coerce a guilty plea from Tom DeLay for a misdemeanor, stating the alternative was indictment for a felony which would require his stepping down as majority leader. He turned you down, so you had him indicted, in spite of the advice from others in your office that Tom DeLay had committed no crime.”

Take THAT, Jack McCoy. DeLay will appear in court IN AUSTIN this Friday, where he will be fingerprinted, photographed and booked. Seriously, has Christmas come early this year?

Speaking of Ronnie Earle, his son Jason is being slammed by… fellow Democrats. A source tells me that former Rep. Glen Maxey has emailed his fellow D’s urging them not to support Jason for Terry Keel’s old seat:

I sure hope we’re all thinking about the repercussions of making Dist 47 (the most winnable district in Texas) into a national referendum on Ronnie Earle and Tom Delay.

The million dollars that gets dumped into the “get Ronnie” campaign will be for TV that the voters across Travis County get to watch. Kiss Dist 47 goodbye. But TV doesn’t stop at the district line.. it goes across Central Texas to District 48 where we can take out Baxter and in Dist 50 where Strama is going to face tough re-election battles and even in Patrick Rose’s area where another right winger backed by Rick Green is about to file as a Republican.

Why would be do this to ourselves?

Wrong candidate. Wrong time. Wrong district.

Eating our own must taste good.

Last night, President Bush hosted the Iftaar Dinner during Ramadan for American Muslim leaders and dignitaries. The President bragged that, for the first time in history, the Koran had been added to the White House Library. Way to be inclusive. He ended the evening by saying, “May God bless you all.” Well, at least he didn’t say “Christ.”

Things got even more awkward when Bush tried to use this man’s turban as a cup holder.

Thank God my guest writers are coming through for me in my time of need. Here’s Fled the Asylum on Bush’s library. – Ed. Note

For some reason, six of the President’s BFFs gathered in Austin last Thursday to announce that the site of W’s Presidential “library” will be… not Austin.

Baylor, SMU, the University of Dallas and a coalition including Tech and Midland College beat out a UT proposal for a Town Lake site (near, not in), an A&M proposal in the former pig farm that now boasts 41’s bookshelf, and a City of Arlington proposal, surely submitted for the sake of irony. How Duke managed to miss the Final Four will have Dick Vitale scratching his head ‘til March…baybee!

Due to the First Lady being born a commoner, and having to attend SMU, handicappers are saying the smart money’s on Southern Methodist. The fact that the “library” would be surrounded by rich, white neighbors certainly doesn’t hurt its chances.

What might, though is a conspicuous lack of brush on the potential site. Baylor’s offering 150 undeveloped acres on the Brazos, and since the Bush family can’t afford to hire help to clear brush, that’s a pretty lengthy working vacation.

However, with three faith-based institutions battling it out for position, what’s a secular public-private partnership to do? How ‘bout show W. the money — $101 million in IOUs just waiting for the word. Hmmm… Jesus or money… Jesus or money…Jesus or money…

In the meantime, we can look to the leadership of former Bush Commerce Secretary and drinkin’ buddy (not necessarily in that order) Don Evans. I wanna tell you, Don’s been doing a heck of a job. In fact, based on previous Bush search committees, don’t be surprised if the site of the George W. Bush Presidential Library ends up being… Don Evans himself.

Editor’s Disclaimer: I didn’t get back from California until yesterday evening and I’m still suffering from jetlag. I will most likely be feeling its effects for the rest of the week, if not the rest of the month. It’s not my fault my constitution is so delicate.

President Bush held a photo-op at the White House yesterday, surrounding himself with former Texas Supreme Court justices, to assure his fellow Americans that Harriet Miers is just one of the guys.

Like there was any doubt.

Justice Craig Enoch: “When people get to know [Miss Miers] and understand her like we do, they’ll find her an excellent choice. And she’ll be a legend on that court before her career is finished.”

Dude. Her career is already finished. Don’t they have CNN in those nursing homes?

TJ again. Once more, Pink Lady flees town like a Garbo-esque shrinking violet when accolades come her way. ITPT was the Austin Chronicle’s “Best of Austin” Critic’s Pick in the media category:

Blushing Blog
In the Pink
InThePinkTexas.com or “Politics on the Lege of Reason,” gives an insider’s view to the goings-on at the state Capitol and beyond. Eileen Smith’s blog is controversial, often offensive, mostly nonpartisan, and totally thought-provoking. The photos and text are updated many times a day, and a loyal group of commentators keeps the conversation going beyond the daily installments.

Loyal group of commentators, give yourselves a round of applause. If I can be earnest for a moment, I don’t think I’m speaking out of turn by saying that the regular participants are a flattering and motivating force for Eileen. Now, prove your continuing loyalty by giving her (and me) (and Smooch) delicious candies and balloons and money.

I’m pretty sure that’s Eileen on the cover, shaking Willie’s hand. They say the camera adds weight and, very rarely, changes your race. Ask OJ. Eileen has yet to decide whether or not to hang a Best of Austin banner from the roof of her house. I’m sure her neighbors will find it endearing if she does.

TJ Shroat here to fill the comment petri dish with agar. The editor’s note on the last post was Pink Lady’s passive aggressive attempt to guilt me into posting. Blogs as therapy indeed. My own passive aggressive response is to post something inane, cutesy and dare I say…

twee (twe)
adj. Chiefly British – Overly precious or nice.

I’ve encountered this word, while reading, three times in the past two weeks. In my previous 30+ years of reading (a lot) and listening to English, I encountered it zero times. Suddenly it’s everywhere. Who’s responsible?

More confounding to me is that two of the usages referred to subjects as not being “twee” or “overly twee”. (I can’t remember the specific subjects. Probably book and/or movie reviews. Definitely American in source. Maybe on another blog.) Perhaps the movies or books in question weren’t “twee” because “twee” is a made-up, nonsense word? I’m sure the movie didn’t exhibit signs of boscraven either.

Twee.

Twee?

Just saying it is like trying to chew a tablespoon of sugar.

How does this relate to Texas politics, national politics, reality TV, or any other subject matter on ITPT? Stay with me here. While the extreme right has been ruthlessly organizing and pushing their agenda over the last 10-15 years, I’ve been wasting my time, getting incensed about stupid sounding words. In the meantime, progressivism in America has withered and fallen by the wayside.

Global warming?

Creationism in schools?

Erosion of civil rights?

All my fault. (Well, words like “twee” share some of the blame.)

Sorry.

First Lady Laura Bush knows why critics are giving Harriet Miers such a hard time.

Wait for it… SEXISM.

The First Lady said that “it’s possible” that questions concerning Miers’ smarts are sexist.

Meanwhile Ed Gillespie, a top Bush adviser, has said that Miers’ sex could explain why she’s being judged by a harsher standard.

Okay, don’t you have to be HAVING SEX to be JUDGED by your sex? Am I right? As far as I can tell, Miers is about as sexual as an amoeba.

Mrs. Bush praised Miers for being a “role model for young women.”

Yeah. Young women hoping to be nuns. Or librarians.

Apparently, blogging is therapeutic.

There’s an article on “cyber-catharsis” in today’s Washington Post.

The Internet is now teeming with some 15 million blogs. Although the medium first drew mainstream attention with commentary on high-profile events such as the
presidential election, many now use
it to chronicle intensely personal experiences, venting confessions in front of millions of strangers who can
write back. Nearly half of bloggers consider it a form of therapy, according to a recent survey sponsored by America Online Inc.

I would never, ever vent confessions in front of millions of strangers. Luckily, there are not millions of strangers frequenting this blog.

Now we turn to the age-old question, is blogging therapy? I don’t think there’s any question that most bloggers need intensive therapy, multiple interventions and pharmaceutical support. But is sitting at your laptop the best course of action for the mentally unstable and socially inept?

Then there’s this: A blogger can erase a previous entry, but it’s often saved on an Internet server and remains visible for years to come.

DON’T TELL ME THAT. That’s all I need – incriminating photos of me wearing a “These Are Not Talking Points” t-shirt. And it seemed like such
a good idea at the time.

“It’s like they’re writing the novel of their lives, and [public] participation adds truth to their story,” says a VP at AOL.

My life’s work. Politics, Texas-style. I need to redirect.

“You are the best governor ever!”

In 1997, Harriet Miers wrote this to then-Governor George Bush. She added that George and Laura were “the greatest!”

Responding to an open-records request, the Texas State Library and Archives Commission has released
over 2,000 pages of Miers’ correspondence and personal notes.

I wish they could take them back.

More Miers: “Texas has a very popular governor and first lady!”

My GOD, could she be any more of an ass-kisser?!

A White House spokesman reiterated that “we’ve said all along that they are close.”

True, but you didn’t say they were so SCHMOOPY.

I haven’t felt this nauseated since I read Dick Cheney’s love letters to Lynne.

More than 20,000 Pakistanis are dead after Saturday’s earthquake, which has left people homeless and struggling to survive.

Should we help them? Let’s take a look at today’s poll in Lubbock Online.

Survey says…

*Nice.*

The Chairman of the Texas Republican Party, Tina Benkiser, just can’t stop talking about Ronnie Earle. She’s got it BAD, man.

“Once upon a time, a big bad
wolf tried to blow a house down. In the end, he huffed and he puffed, but he could not blow the brick house down. Today, the
brick house is the Republican Family that is the vast majority
of Texans. The big bad wolf’s name, Ronnie Earle the Earle of Injustice aka Renegade Ronnie.”

Oh, he’s BIG and BAD, all right, Tina. He is *totally* going to blow your brick house down.

Tina goes on to get all hot and bothered by Ronnie, calling him “a small man with a big ego and an even bigger … (ahem) … grudge.” (Ahem added by editor for effect.) She accuses Earle of POLITICAL TERRORISM and suggests that Earle, not Tom DeLay, should be the one investigated.

And I bet I know who wants to do the investigative work… especially the old cop and feel.

Tina concludes: “In the popular fable, just as in this scenario, the big bad wolf fails at his first attempts to get his desired target. He huffs and puffs and gets nowhere, but rather than giving up and pursuing other endeavors, the wolf becomes even more obsessed and zealous. In the wolf’s arrogant zeal, he decides to enter the house by sliding down the chimney and unsuspectingly lands in a pot of boiling water. It is a happy ending. It is the end of the big bad wolf.”

Come on, who’s really doing the huffing and puffing here?

Tina needs to brush up on her fairy tales. First, she forgot all about the three little pigs – Tom DeLay, John Colyandro and Jim Ellis. Next, each pig built his own house – one of straw, one of sticks and one of bricks. The pig in the straw house (John Colyandro) and the pig in the stick house
(Jim Ellis) were eaten by the wolf after he easily blew their houses down.

The big fat pig in the brick house? Well, let’s see what happens.

Not a good day for newspapers.

The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times are both running stories today concerning the economic woes of print journalism, from
lay-offs to declining readership.

NYT: Beyond the industry’s economic woes, the future is clouded by the rapid expansion of the Internet, leaving newspapers in an identity crisis as they try to come to grips with fundamental changes in the industry and society that are significantly curbing their growth… Papers are bolstering their Web sites, building Internet offerings, encouraging reporters to write blogs and produce audio feeds and creating ways for citizens to submit their own material.

When I was at journalism school (yes, I went to journalism school and just LOOK AT ME NOW – J-school students beware), there was a clear division between broadcast students and print students. I was a print student. You could tell by my unkempt hair and hangovers. You could tell by the stacks of yellowing newspapers around my apartment. You could tell by the perma-coffee breath. You could tell by the reporter’s notebook and illegible scribblings. You could tell by my delusions of grandeur of becoming a foreign news correspondent, only to settle in at a suburban daily covering school board meetings.

But I digress (another characteristic of print journalists). While newspapers explore new ways to attract readers, especially younger ones, through more sophisticated websites and even WEB LOGS (i.e. blogs, such as the one you’re reading), I’ll be on the sidelines rooting for the survival of the printed word.

Whoa, Nellie.

Harriet Miers with on-again, off-again, back-on-again suitor Nathan Hecht, when Harriet was still a simple Breck girl.

I’ve been waiting for Texans for Texas to weigh in on the whole DeLay-Earle scandal. I mean, as Texans, how are we supposed to feel about this?

“It’s time to turn in your law license, Big Ronnie.”

Yes, Executive Director Janelle Shepard is calling Ronnie Earle, “Big Ronnie.” Hmmm… maybe she knows something we don’t know, that
saucy minx.

Shepard continues, “Now, Earle has kept a grand jury in place for 3 years to squeeze out the indictment of a lifetime before he retires and before the
jurors and media lose interest. (yaawwwn…..).”

OMG is Janelle a snarky blogger or what? Yaawwn.

Texans for Texas ranks on Earle for starring in his own documentary, “The Big Buy.” They’ve got a point there. Talk about yaawwn. Ronnie Earle sitting in a La-Z-Boy discussing money laundering and corporate donations? The filmmakers said they tried to make it look like a crime story since a documentary of campaign finance might put the audience to sleep.

*MIGHT* put us to sleep?! The only way this documentary will attract an audience is full-frontal nudity. You know what I’m saying. The full monty.

By TJ Shroat

In an upcoming BBC documentary, former Palestinian foreign minister, Nabil Shaath claims that President Bush told a Palestinian delegation in 2003 that God spoke to him.

“President Bush said to all of us: ‘I’m driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan. And I did, and then God would tell me, George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq… And I did. And now, again, I feel God’s words coming to me, Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East. And by God I’m gonna do it.’”

Notice God’s repeated use of the President’s first name? Apparently, the man upstairs has got a little car dealer in him. The President later told the delegation that God convinced him to purchase a 1996 Buick Skylark with 115,000 miles and some scuffs on the driver’s side door that God said would “buff right out, I swear to me.”

Of the 120 or so aggregated news sources on Google News reporting this story, only a handful are American news outlets. Perhaps they don’t find the story credible or they’re just waiting for the documentary to air later in the month. What’s germane is that the rest of the world does find it credible.

Our military trounced the opposition in Afghanistan and Iraq. Policing those countries and trying to install democracy, or indeed any form of government, is proving to be a bit more daunting. But in the war of propaganda, we are absolutely getting our asses handed to us. Whether Bush said this or not, based on his past deeds and actions, the rest of the world is ready to believe it. (I give Bush credit for at least being bright enough not to make a claim like that in front of non-Christians.) No wonder Cheney predicted several more decades for this “war” on terrorism. We’re losing the war of ideas. To most of the world, we’re just a different flavor of zealotry.

And yet, no country is better armed to wage a propaganda war than the U.S. of A. Hollywood. Madison Avenue. Vince McMahon. McDonalds (McFalafel, anyone?) We’re loaded. Ergo, coastal, left-wing elitists must be sabotaging us again. You rascals.